The Blowfish Blog

[Videos] Wedding Bell Blues

I like wedding-themed porn movies, and Wedding Bell Blues is no exception. (It’s something about all that frilly white lingerie, I think.) Kirsten Price is swiftly becoming an Actress to Watch (especially when she’s scantily-clad), and in this film she plays a blushing bride with a bad case of cold feet. She’s afraid she’ll never fulfill the items on her “Fuck-it List” of fantasies (as opposed to Bucket List; I’m surprised we haven’t seen a full-fledged parody based on that pun), and worries that her life is over now that she’s getting married. Her family and friends try to reassure her, rather ineptly, but amusingly.

First Nicole Sheridan, trying to look old in glasses and a severe hairstyle, appears as Kirsten’s often-married mother . . . and rather than telling her about the joys of wedded bliss, she relates a story about the black guy named Mustapha she used to secretly fuck back in the ’70s. It’s a funny scene in a groovy apartment with Sean Michaels playing the cool cat to Nicole’s sex kitten — period-appropriate blue eye shadow and all.

Next her bridesmaid Samantha Sin steps in, and seems a bit more on message. She loves her husband, and they have an amazing sex life . . . because Samantha likes danger, and he’s happy to oblige. She tells a story of fucking after the running of the bulls in Spain and, hilariously, about joining the Mile Deep Club (she’s “always wanted to get fucked in a diving bell in the Marianas Trench” — I wish they’d dramatized that!). The actual scene we get is a bit more straightforward, with Samantha and Dane Cross shagging on a hike while a serial killer roams the woods. The outdoor fucking is nice, but was she really going on a long hike wearing a thong? That’s dedication!

Randy Spears steals the whole movie in the next scene, though. He plays a priest — and that’s a bit of stunt-casting if I’ve ever seen one — who tells a tale of his naughty past. Randy hams it up as a cross-dressing stripper, complete with wig and schoolgirl skirt, giving a lap dance to a very hot Ann Marie Rios all done up in man-drag. Randy also talks about how he liked to roleplay railroad bull/dirty hobo, naughty shepherd/woolly sheep — his glassy-eyed lustful reminiscences are really hilarious.

The final scene actually plays it straight, which is in some ways a disappointment, since the silly humor was part of what set this film apart. Kirsten goes through with the wedding, and we see her wedding night with Chris Cannon. It may not be funny, but she’s wearing the de rigeur frilly white lingerie, so I was satisfied. It’s a light, couples-friendly flick with a few laughs.

• Wedding Bell Blues

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This entry was posted on Friday, 26 September 2008 at 2:05 pm and is filed under Videos. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.