[Videos] Smokin’ Hot Blondes #1
Spyder Jonez is the nom de porn of Evan Seinfeld, a rock star from Biohazard and husband of legendary pornstar Tera Patrick. The fact that Spyder is actually Evan has never exactly been a secret — he’s a distinctive-looking bald guy covered in tattoos, and is unlikely to be mistaken for anyone else — but in Smokin’ Hot Blondes #1 he’s actually credited this way: “Evan Seinfeld as Spyder Jonez.” Which seems a bit redundant, but a guy who rocks and fucks as hard as he does can call himself whatever he wants. Though one idly wonders how his brunette wife Tera feels about him directing a series about fucking hot blondes . . . he does amusingly call Teagan Presley the hottest woman in the business today — “next to my wife.” Smart man!
This flick is gonzo rockstar fucking extraordinaire, with footage from Jonez’s website RockStarPimp.com. Biohazard even provides a lot of the music. Of course, rockstars fucking pornstars is hardly a new phenomenon, but seeing it on film is a novelty. It’s no-frills hardcore fucking with rock and roll style; Teagan even appears in a studded leather skirt and bustier in honor of Jonez. His years of fucking groupies and performing on stage pay off, and he uses Teagan hard until she’s covered in sweat and begs him to go easy on her — for a woman of Teagan’s experience, that implies some serious fucking.
Spyder also bangs 21-year-old Britney Amber of the Bunny Ranch, and adorable newcomer Lexi Belle, and former all-star cheerleader Madison Scott, and punky bleached blonde Jade Jolie (the only one of the bunch to have some punk rock style, and who likes clothespins clipped to her nipples). Spyder pounds them all thoroughly, and cums on their faces. It really is good to be a rockstar.
One complaint: the frequent flashing of the RockStarPimp.com logo, and the cum-spattered girls pimping the site in their final moments on screen, is all a bit annoying — I’m watching it already, aren’t I? I don’t need the hardsell. But Spyder does deliver the goods, so I’ll forgive him.
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