Upload: Director’s Cut

The makers of Corruption, one of my favorite porn films of recent years, have worked their magic again, this time with Upload — a movie that manages to combine my love for science fiction with my love for really nasty hardcore enthusiastic sex. There are a dozen sex scenes, a plot that’s worth watching, some really clever ideas, and a million special features. Forget replay value; it’ll take you hours just to watch this thing once, and if you’re like me, you won’t even be tempted to fast-forward to the sexy bits. The production values are staggeringly good, and if the science fiction ideas are kind of old and familiar to a jaded SF reader like me, well, they’re no more behind the curve than mainstream science fiction epics, and a hell of a lot more fun. The plot involves Eva Angelina as a rogue agent with the future Digital Security Agency, a sub-section of the Department of Homeland Security devoted to policing “sims”: basically cartridges that people can slot into their necks, which permit them to experience fully immersive virtual-reality simulations. (If such technology ever actually exists, of course it’ll be used first and foremost for porn. Porn is always at the cutting edge of entertainment technology. •William Gibson’s famous adage about the unpredictability of technological applications goes “The street finds its own uses for things,” and quite often, that use involves sex.) Quite often, of course, those are hardcore porn. There’s some cat-and-mouse stuff involving Hillary Scott as a fugitive, and some cop drama stuff involving Eva and her ostensibly straight-arrow partner Derrick Pierce, and the genuinely engaging story only serves to make the incredibly hardcore sex that much more satisfying. How hardcore? Here are just a few of the sex acts you’ll see this huge cast take part in: five-guy-on-one-girl gangbangs; double penetration; double anal; cum-swapping; pissing; real BDSM; fisting; slapping; choking . . . I could go on. Gonzo fucking with a glossy sensibility and a good story: it’s like porn utopia!

Then there are the extras. There are two disc’s worth. (That’s on top of two discs just for the film itself, which runs over four hours.) There are extensive behind-the-scenes extras, and they convey just how seriously Eli Cross took this production, and how very much he demanded from his actors. His work ethic seriously paid off. This is the best movie I’ve seen . . . since the last Eli Cross movie I saw. (My understanding is that the regular version — the non-Director’s Cut — is about a quarter of an hour shorter and lacks some of the peeing, fisting, and more hardcore bondage, but is otherwise pretty much the same.)