The Blowfish Blog

The Very Best of Desiree Cousteau

Ah, the classics of film: On The Waterfront, Gone with the Wind, The Godfather, The Very Best of Desireé Cousteau — oh, wait, that’s a different kind of classic. Or, rather, a compilation of classic moments featuring sweet-faced Southern belle Deborah Clearbranch, better known by her nom de porn Desireé Cousteau (for some reason, the box copy for this film takes away the accent on her last e). She was hot stuff in her prime, during the ’70s and early ’80s, nabbing a Best Actress award in 1978, and this film puts together some of her better scenes. (These days she’s a child psychologist back home in Savannah, according to Wikipedia — you couldn’t make this stuff up.)

In the first scene, from Getting Off, Desireé plays a sex slave in service to a brutal female dom who collars and whips her — though, this being vintage porn, it’s pretty sad fake whipping. She gets chained up by her wrists and ankles and presented to a man with glasses, who’s also smoking a pipe and wearing a leather hat. Ah, the good old days. Best line, from the lady dom: “It’s a matter of training, like a dog.” I could do without the “reaction shots” from all the creepy dolls around the room, but that aside, it’s a good scene.

The next, with fellow legends John Holmes and Seka, has some painfully bad dialogue but some surprisingly hot action, though between Holmes’s beard and everyone’s ample pubic hair, there’s more fur in this one scene than in the last dozen pornos I’ve watched combined . . . The scene from That’s Erotic has Desireé in an orgy on and around a leather couch (well, maybe it’s Naugahyde), with some rough positions, including a piledriver — those gonzo kids today think they invented this stuff! There are several scenes from the amusingly named Pizza Girls, where she plays “Anne Chovy” (good to know porn humor hasn’t changed). She has a rather invasive job interview, and later eats a slice of pizza while someone eats her out — her stream of inane chatter during the latter is pretty funny. In Deep Rub she’s a would-be massage therapist who learns the art of the happy ending from Paul Thomas (back when he was an actor, not an occasionally-pretentious director) and has some strap-on sex. Summer Heat features sex on a speedboat (and in a swimming hole) action, plus masturbation in the woods. I wonder who got to check Desireé for ticks after that? Lucky bastard.

This is a great sampler of scenes from a onetime superstar who is, sadly, not as well-remembered as some of her contemporaries. Pick up a copy so her legend will live on in your heart (and your pants).

• The Very Best of Desireé Cousteau

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This entry was posted on Thursday, 10 April 2008 at 12:16 pm and is filed under Videos. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.