Cheating Housewives #4

I confess to being a bit mystified by the whole MILF thing. Not that I haven’t seen many beautiful women who happened to be mothers, but I don’t really get the fetishization of such women as a class. Is it the allure of experienced women? The temptation of forbidden fruit? Some weird incestuous impulse I’d really rather not consider too deeply? Savvy marketing on the part of porn stars who aren’t as young as they were when they got started in the business, and who got sick of being marginalized when they’re still plenty hot, thanks?

Whatever the reasons, I have a MILF video under consideration here today — Cheating Housewives #4. It is “100% MILF,” the box cover promises, but it’s clearly a lie, since the lovely Kylie Ireland doesn’t have any kids, and when I think of feminist porn legend Nina Hartley, I don’t think “Motherly.” But both Kylie and Nina are over age 35, so . . .. I’m even more bewildered by the whole MILF thing now. Apparently actual motherhood is not, in fact, strictly relevant. I should have realized I was being too literal. I guess “Mother I’d Like To Fuck” is just more acronym-friendly than “Woman Between the Ages of 35 and 50 I’d Like to Fuck.” Anyway. I’ll try to ignore the whole MILF thing and talk about the movie on its merits. And it has some merits! It’s a low-tech gonzo affair, a series of little vignettes with a common thread of infidelity. The first few scenes are fairly standard — there’s revenge-fucking, as when Nina Hartley invites two guys to fuck her in hopes that her cheating husband will walk in and get a taste of his own medicine, and there’s slumming, as when Kristal Summers picks up the dude who works at the quickie oil-change place and takes him to her suburban McMansion for an afternoon delight. But it gets weirder from there, when petite blonde Brittany Andrews puts on a strap-on and dishes out a punitive buttfucking to her husband because she found out he was cheating. (It’s a squirting strap-on dildo, which culminates in the rare spectacle of a woman giving a man a facial cumshot.) The best scene, though, has Kylie Ireland cheating on her husband, Mark Davis, who’s one of my favorite onscreen doms — I usually see him in bondage videos, or in the bondagey bits of more mainstream videos. Even though there’s not a whip or leash in sight, his toppy energy is in fine form as he catches his cheating wife and decides to show her lover how she really likes to be fucked.

So, to sum up: The MILF thing mystifies me, but this is good nasty hardcore porn with attractive women, who just happen to be over 35 (probably, I guess), and news flash, guys: most women hit their sexual peak in their 30s. Oh, wait. Maybe that’s the point of the whole MILF thing: to celebrate women hitting their sexual peak at a time when consumer commercial society arbitrarily deems them less sexy than their younger counterparts. (That would be pretty noble for porn, huh? Leave me my illusions.)