The Blowfish Blog

Who thinks of the bicycles?

In Scotland, a man has been placed on three years probation, and placed on the Sex Offenders Register for three year, for having sex with a bicycle.

In private.

So much in private that those who discovered him had to go get a master key in order to open the door to discover him in a compromising position with his bicycle.

We are still trying to figure out exactly what the crime is. The charges were “a sexually aggravated breach of the peace by conducting himself in a disorderly manner and simulating sex.” Simulating sex is a crime? And you can “breach the peace” while behind locked doors with no one outside the wiser as to what is going on?

And if the cleaners had burst in on him and he had just been taking matters in hand, as it were, would that have been a crime?

Somehow, the fact that the bicycle-fuckers of the world have been put on notice that their perversions will not be tolerated even in private does not make us rest easier.

And, most importantly, is there a market for bicycle porn? If so, why are we not carrying any?

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This entry was posted on Saturday, 17 November 2007 at 5:00 pm and is filed under News. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.