Saturday, 31 January 2009
| 12:00 am
| Toys
I wanted to call this one “Take the Butt-Plugs Bowling” but I was vetoed by the rest of the ‘fishies, who thought not only was it clunky, but that some people wouldn’t get it. We decided to go with the more obvious, and are calling them the Kava Diva 4/10 Split Urethane Butt-Plug.
Why the focus on bowling? Well, these plugs are made out of the same smooth, nearly indestructible material that they make bowling balls out of. These incredibly firm, easy-to-clean urethane plugs have a nice weight to them — not too light, but not too heavy either — so they add a little pressure (thanks to gravity) when inserted. They even come in the neat swirly colors like bowling balls do.
The 4/10 Split starts in a traditional butt-plug shape, gradually widening to about 1-1/4″ wide in the smaller size, and 1-1/2″ wide in the medium size. Under the head it narrows briefly, then has another, rounder, bloop (of approximately the same width as the head) before narrowing down to the neck. My only complaint about this one is that the flange is just a bit on the smaller side, though it’s still bigger than the widest part of the plug itself, but use a bit of caution there, ok?
Small is 3-3/4″ insertable, the medium is 4-1/4″ insertable. They lube up nice and slick and feel similar to glass inside the body (but without the fear of breakage). And, of course, the best part is you don’t need special shoes and kitschy shirts just to play with them!
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Friday, 30 January 2009
| 12:00 am
| Toys
If the female among you have looked at the “hands-free” prostate toys available all over the place today and wished for something similar, allow me to introduce you to the Rock Chick. Insert the Rock Chick so that the G-spot nub is, well, against your G-spot and the other end is against your clit. Now, rock back and forth, getting alternate friction action on both of your favorite erogenous zones. Hands-free humpitude!
The Rock Chick’s gentle clamp-like design helps hold it in. Made out of a firm silicone with a silky texture that slips nicely inside the body when lubricated. Vibrating bullet and one 1.5v size N battery included. 4″ long x 1″ insertable. The clit-tickler arm is 3″ long. Comes in a pretty dark purple or a new, limited edition red color (just in time for Valentine’s Day!). Once these sassy red ones are gone, they’re gone for good, so you get yours while you can!
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Thursday, 29 January 2009
| 12:00 am
| Videos
The Accidental Hooker is part of a genre I’ve just decided to call “What’s A Nice Girl Like You Doing On A Streetcorner Like This?” (See the blog-turned-memoir Belle de Jour: Diary of a London Call Girl, and the TV adaptation, “Secret Diary of a Call Girl,” starring Billie Piper, etc., for further examples.) The notion that a nice, smart, pretty girl can become a high-class escort is both titillating and fascinating from a psychological point of view (whereas the notion that the same kind of girl can lose her job, get hooked on drugs, and become a streetwalker is merely tragic . . .).
The adorable Kaylani Lei plays it cool and cynical as a call girl taking part — at her usual hourly rate, of course — in a study about prostitution in various countries. She sits down with the researchers in front of a video camera and tells the story of how she stumbled into her chosen line of work, and most of the film is the dramatization of that story. It starts when she hooks up with a guy she met on the internet, and after they fuck (in a hot scene, especially when he improvises a leash with a necktie and fucks her mouth), he leaves her an envelope of cash. Now, that’s the sort of thing that might reasonably cause most women to slap the guy, curse at him, and never see him again . . . but Kaylani finds it titillating, and the cash keeps coming.
Eventually she moves on to fucking other men as a business proposition, and we get to watch lots of her encounters with memorable tricks — three-ways, girl-girl, etc. She even seeks out the tutelage of a more experienced hooker in the form of Victoria Sin, leading to a great three-way scene with Niko (a Playgirl Man of the Year and general slice of hot mancake).
The Accidental Hooker is reasonably well-written, full of beautiful women, and Kaylani carries off her demanding role with aplomb. There’s even a twist ending — not one that makes a ton of sense, admittedly, and it’s straight out of the Twilight Zone school of story conclusions, but it’s definitely memorable. And, let’s be honest, you’re unlikely to really watch this primarily for the story; the fact that the plot is pretty good is just a perq.
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Using nudity to protest is a time-honored tradition, and one I personally respect and encourage, and in honor of the brave bare-bodied defenders of various rights, here are a few links (and those naked pictures are purely educational!).
GoTopless.org is a website devoted to overturning laws that forbid women to go topless while allowing men — even men with ginormous man-boobs — to strut around without their shirts on. Their “spiritual leader and founder” argues that “as long as men can be topless, constitutionally women should have the same right.” I’m not so sure about the Constitutional argument — the Constitution doesn’t have much to say about public nudity, really — but I do agree it’s pretty silly to have laws like this. I used to live in Santa Cruz, CA, where (as I understand it) there’s no law forbidding women from walking around topless, and the occasional shirtless woman never led to anarchy or rioting in my experience. (Though a group called the “Bare-Breasted Ladies” did protest the opening of a chain bookstore there in 2000; I found an article about it, but alas, no pictures.)
In a somewhat related nakedness-rights protest, some nude life models in Paris protested (naked) in the freezing cold last December to demand respect and better pay. (Or, more specifically, to demand the reinstatement of the tradition of students giving them tips, which was banned.) Now, to me, this seems a bit counter-intuitive — since they get naked for a living, protesting their working conditions by also getting naked hardly seems effective. But it certainly got them attention in the press.
Then there are all the nude bicyclists in Portland OR, most famously Earth Friend Gen, who’s well-known enough that she’s been featured on CNN. She skates and cycles naked to promote peace and self-confidence, which seems reasonable. Michael “Bobby” Hammond was cleared of indecent exposure charges after being arrested for bicycling naked last year. I heard him on NPR, and his explanation about what he was protesting was a bit scattered, but it seemed to be opposition to oil wars, which makes sense. The judge cleared him because there’s a long tradition of naked bicycle protests in Portland — a precedent set largely by the World Naked Bike Ride event, which is exactly what it sounds like.
Charity organization Pants to Poverty put together a demonstration in a London train station late last year, and broke the world record “for number of people standing around in their underwear all at once.” Fleshbot has many, many pictures from the event.
Are you inspired? Get out there and get naked for the greater good. Or maybe wait until summertime when it’s a little warmer.
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Tuesday, 27 January 2009
| 11:28 am
| Industry
The rulebook for dyke and genderqueer porn continues to be rewritten, with an audaciousness that’s almost a little scary.
When interviewed last Spring about her film Strap-On Motel, Venezuelan-born, New York-raised, now Paris-dwelling filmmaker Maria Beatty mentioned that she was at work on Post Apocalyptic Cowgirls, with Lydia Lunch doing music and spoken word audio. I HEART Lydia Lunch and Maria Beatty both, so I’ve been eagerly anticipating ever since, but when I got my grubby hands on it and popped it on the DVD player, this freaky dyke fuck flick took me totally by surprise. This is dirty stuff. If you think the beauty and grandeur of her previous movies defines Maria Beatty as a creator of art-porn, your eyebrows may go up pretty high when the pissing starts.
With Cowgirls, Beatty continues the cinema-verite odyssey she began in 2007 with Skateboard Kink Freak and Sex Mannequin, but heads deeper into the noirish territory she broke into with Motel, taking it to the dusty plains of the American West rather than the sleazy confines of the down-and-outers motel. But in Cowgirls, Beatty heads deep into succulent perversion in a way even Motel didn’t dare.
Its two punky-dykey stars, Surgeon and London, are smoking hot. Hardcore butch and hardcore femme collide like a primer-grey Lincoln Continental hitting pink Cadillac at 100 MPH on a desert road, and the chemistry between them explodes. The landscapes are gorgeous and for those of you who dig outdoor sex, it doesn’t get any more outdoor than this. The post-apocalyptic theme is not reflected in a plot; rather, it’s just simple girl-meets-cowgirl, in desert landscapes well into Mad Max territory, with luscious punk accoutrement. This is one stylish film.
And true to Beatty’s promise, Lydia Lunch does the music and some spoken word, with other performers sitting in as well; the whole thing is postpunk deathabilly of exactly the sort you’d expect to hear on a desert road from Nowhere to Anywhere. It’s gorgeous enough to stand on its own right, but here it’s layered over hardcore sex in landscapes so rich you can smell the tumbleweeds and feel the hot wind.
But what really erupts out of Cowgirls is the filth — this is a dirty piece of pornography. Beatty is at her best here, so far out on the edge that it makes Kink Freak and Mannequin seem tame. Cowgirls features sex so intense it can’t help but seem shocking even if you think you’ve seen it all. Beatty has always thrived on deviance and taboo, but here, intense fetishes are rendered not in moody transgression but in gonzo overdrive.
With an early scene of pissing and lactation, and a later scene of fisting — one of the most intense I’ve ever seen — Cowgirls covers territory that just a few years ago was considered totally off limits by American pornographers and commonly discussed among edge-sex aficionados as a couple of things commercial porn would never feature because of fear of prosecution.
But who gives a shit about that? Breaking taboos is what porn does, and nowadays it’s not unheard of to find fisting in porn, and fairly easy to find pissing porn. What’s notable is the way Surgeon pisses on London, parked on the side of the road and squatting over her face and squeezing milk from her tits down to mix with the piss. It is so over-the-top bizarre that it might seem like posturing if it didn’t feel so savagely naturalistic. Before the curtain falls, you’ll see gunplay, snakeplay, bondage, spanking — does she get off on pushing the edge? Who knows; it’s all such kinky, fast-moving fun that there’s kinda no way for me, watching it, to groove on the taboo nature of everything because I’m so lost in the fast-moving sex.
Which is the ultimate esthetic of Cowgirls: not the sun, not the sand, not the dust, not the flesh. It’s the motion. Cowgirls is a road trip with petal to the metal.
Is it hot? It’s smoking hot. Is it sex positive? You tell me; it embraces its kinks, and makes of them new turn-ons where none previously existed. In just under an hour of action, Cowgirls helps rewrite the rule book for hardcore indie dyke porn.
Thomas Roche blogs about mutant alien space spooge at Thomasroche.com.
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Monday, 26 January 2009
| 12:00 am
| Toys
We’ve got a new design from the good folks over at Aneros, this one made to please your tush whether you were born with a prostate or not. The Aneros Peridise comes in a set of two hard plastic (almost looks/feels like teflon) anal toys with a bulb at one end followed by smaller variations in width down to a handle. The idea behind these little guys is that they trigger the body’s natural peristaltic reflex, making them easy to insert and possibly move “on their own” (or, rather, with the body’s natural peristaltic contractions). If you think I’ve just typo-ed the word “Paradise” an embarrassingly large number of times (and I certainly groaned at the supposed misspelling at first myself), allow me to point out the pun: the “peri” comes from that peristaltic reflex. Oh, those folks at Aneros are so clever with the word play!
Yeah, yeah, but does it work, you ask? Our testers did notice that if you lube it up and just get the first ovoid-shaped bulb inserted, your butt will sort of pull it the rest of the way in on its own, so that part of the design was obvious to us all (and delightfully “Ooh!” worthy). This will surprise those of you who have always followed the “ease it in” approach; having a toy just get sucked in is a bit startling, in a good way! Our testing team loved that aspect of the toy.
The “moving on its own once inside” is maybe not so immediately obvious. Because this toy is small, you’ve got to work your muscles a bit to get it moving and to feel the results of their heavily-researched design. Practice does make perfect, however, and we noticed over a couple testing sessions that working with the Peridise actually trains your sphincter muscles, giving you more control over how (and when) you clench and release back there. And, of course, the more you play with it, the better the results are going to be.
The fact that it’s so small is why, by the way, the advanced set is actually smaller than the beginner set. It’s much easier to feel and move around the bigger set, so you start there and get those motions down before moving on to the more difficult and smaller advanced set. I know, it feels totally backwards, but as far as their training regimen goes, it does makes sense.
Another upside to the diminutive size of this toy is that, special peristaltic training aside, you barely have to be in the mood for anal play to get this puppy inserted, which can be a nice, um, ice-breaker. Seriously, if the training seems like too much for you, just using this as a warm-up or beginner toy is a great idea. If you or your partner find most anal toys intimidating, this is definitely a great place to start!
The beginner set is 4″ long, with two of the larger devices (22mm and 18 mm, which translates to approximately 4/5″ and 3/5″) and the advanced set is 3-3/4″ long, with two of the smaller devices (20mm and 16mm, or approximately 9/10″ and 7/10″). Because each set comes with two toys, you can work your way up (or down) or share with a special friend! Hey, you’ve got two tickets to Peridise!
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Sunday, 25 January 2009
| 12:00 am
| Toys
Speaking of awesome butt-toys (especially prostate toys), one of our best-sellers now comes in a hot new color! The Glide Prostate Massager has long been a favorite of both Blowfishies and our customers for some time now, thanks to its excellent design. The acute angle of the plug itself puts firm pressure right along the prostate, while a metal ball-bearing set in the perineum abutment glides along that sensitive outside p-spot. The result, when you tighten your abs while wearing it, is that the toy moves easily while the ball-bearing rubs against your perineum, rocking the shaft of the toy against your prostate. There are even some small ridges right at the base to tickle that sensitive area (and give you more grip when it’s all lubey). It comes with a nifty tool that lets you pop the ball-bearing out to clean it, so there are no worries about not getting in every nook and cranny when cleaning! It comes in basic black and now also in the most popular of all sex toy colors (well, other than black, but they already have that covered): purple (and it’s a nice dark, sexy purple, too, not some mealy lavender color). Measures 1-1/8″ x 1″ at the widest point and is insertable up to about 3-3/4″. Firm plastic. This toy gets two fins up and is sure to help you put hands-free pressure just where you want it, over and over again.
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