Thursday, 31 July 2008
| 12:00 am
| Videos
What I know about tantric sex I learned from the movies (where it’s generally about mystical male orgasms that last for hours, etc.) and from jokes about Sting, so it was nice to learn a bit more about the subject. Tantric Sexual Massage for Lovers is the beginner’s disc (there’s an advanced program we hope to review soon), and it starts with sex experts Mark Michaels and Patricia Johnson explaining the basics, labeled neatly as Key Concepts in Tantric Massage. Rubbing, blowing, kisssing, biting, pressing, etc. — at this level it’s a lot more about massage than about fucking. (Though at one point they do say that massaging a hand is like putting a penis in a vagina, which makes me think they’re doing it wrong — or else I have been!) The focus is mostly not on stroking the naughty bits, but on various pressure points that can be used to induce relaxation — hands, Achilles tendons, lower back, etc. They later move on to whole body massage — where you rub your oiled body against your partner’s oiled body. Now we’re getting somewhere — human slip-n-slide action!
Some of the demonstrating couples and their scenes — with nipple stimulation and genital massage and such — are quite hot, but even with the explicit demonstration scenes this isn’t really a flick to watch for titillation. It’s a movie to watch for the sake of learning how to better please your partner (and be better pleased yourself). The instructors don’t really teach you tricks or moves so much as an entire revision of the way you approach sexual experience, and as such you should watch it with your partner. They’re going to wonder why you’re blowing on the soles of their feet or tweaking their nipples for twenty minutes straight if you just try to spring these techniques on them without the proper context.
The instructors seem quite knowledgeable, but my one complaint is this: their delivery is dull. They should take a break from teaching people to rub one another attentively and use the time to take a couple of courses themselves, in public speaking if not drama — they talk about embracing fun and being joyful, but they sound like they’re reading from a script most of the time, and it’s not especially lively, which is a shame. They tend toward the clinical in their language, too. Is there a phrase to describe sexual activity that’s less sexy than “massaging the genitals”? (Well, okay, sure, there are lots of less sexy phrases, but they could have definitely done better.) Still, the information is there, even if the delivery is on the dry side, and the lessons are clear and comprehensible. If you’re interested in opening up and expanding your sexual experience, this is a good place to start.
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Perhaps this is a strange time to be thinking about education, since school’s out for the summer, but I believe learning is a lifelong endeavor, so prepare to receive some knowledge:
Shockingly, it turns out that abstinence-only sex education doesn’t stop teenagers from having sex. At all. They have just as much sex as their better-educated classmates. The study also says that students who only learn about abstinence in school — and not, say, condoms — don’t necessarily engage in riskier behaviors than their better-informed counterparts, which is surprising and heartening. Then again, it’s not like teenagers these days can only learn about sex from their teachers and their ill-informed peers and those magazines dad hides in the back of the closet — with the internet, you can learn all sorts of useful things about sex, and as long as you know how to delete your history and clear your cache, mom and dad need never know. The internet can also help you find many useless, but titillating, things. But I’ll get to that later.
While we’re on the subject of sex ed, there’s an interesting comment thread at the Midwest Teen Sex Show (not as prurient as it sounds), where various students chime in to answer the questions “Does your school offer sex education? What sort of topics are they covering? Are you learning?” The answers vary pretty wildly — from just being told “Don’t have sex! Ever! Sex bad!” to frank demonstrations of how to use condoms and explanations of various STDs — and include answers from assorted countries. It’s a nice random sampling that might give you some idea of what a confused mess sex ed is.
Things get a little better once you get to college. Why, at Columbia University, there’s even the occasional lecture on using sex toys to improve your sex life, where a representative from a sex toy company comes under the auspices of the school’s Health Promotion Program to teach kids about the joys of things that vibrate and rotate and inflate. Learning is fun!
Hmm. I appear to have devoted this entire column to links that provide you only with pages of words. I’ll rectify that. First, an illustrated math problem from a Korean textbook (which you can see at the top of the column above), translated and explained — it does indeed recommend the use of trigonometry to determine whether or not it’s safe to sneak a look up the skirt of the girl sitting across from you on the train. Who says you never use that kind of math in real life?
And, finally, simply and without attribution, courtesy of the Sexoteric blog: A photo of a row of Asian schoolgirls standing up with their panties down around their knees. Sex education is so much more sophisticated in other countries . . .
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Tuesday, 29 July 2008
| 12:00 am
| Industry
A strange case on the Iowa-Nebraska border has CNN proclaiming that “Iowa” will soon decide if stripping is an art form. By that, of course, they mean to imply that the Iowa courts will hear a case that could hold at issue whether nude dancing is protected speech under the First Amendment — but, in fact, they’re going to do no such thing.
This conflation of a place, and therefore a place’s population, with its courts is one of the things that annoys me most about journalism in general and sex-related journalism specifically. It’s a kind of anti-travel writing that mainstream news sources engage in, an attempt to paint a given location as monolithic and of a single mind. Clearly Iowans are not of a single mind about nude dancing, as the residents of any state are not of a single mind about such a subject. And the fact that mainstream news is portraying this case as more than it is — the case of a strip club that let in an underage patron and then let her drop trou onstage — is more about the fascination news reporters and readers have for nude dancing and barely-legal sexuality. In this case, the 17-year-old daughter of the local sheriff happens to have sneaked her way into a strip club one night, and then leapt on stage and took her clothes off not once, but twice — not exactly a dream case for free speech advocates.
Shotgun Geniez Sensual Entertainment Theater, aka “the Hamburg Center for the Performing Arts,” is in Hamburg, Iowa, near where the state meets Nebraska and Missouri. Listed at iowastripclubs.com, Shotgun Geniez nonetheless operates under a loophole in Iowa law that says it’s not in fact a strip club, but a performing arts venue (tomato, tomahto). Says Shenandoah, Iowa’s Valley News Today, the law “exempts theaters, concert halls and performing arts venues from some state obscenity laws.”
This makes plenty of sense to me — after all, what if someone wanted to open a gallery, show an Erte, have a poetry reading and scream “Fuck!”? Clearly cutting the arts some slack is a win-win for society, and apparently Iowa (there I go!) thinks the same. That’s right — there in the heartland, somebody thought of the children.
Shotgun Geniez portrays itself as an “arts center,” as opposed to, say, a “strip club,” because the courts seem to hold that those things are different. Shotgun Geniez is not exactly an art gallery poster girl. You can’t really draw too many conclusions from the fact that its website advertises 24 hour truck and RV parking, or that the venue advertises itself on the sides of semi trailers parked on the freeway. Hey, if something isn’t art because truckers love it, then every Literature major wearing a Johnny Cash T-shirt is in for a serious shock. Plus, at Geniez, the presumed lack of dudes with goatees, wire-rimmed glasses and black turtlenecks is of course counterbalanced by, I’m sure, plenty of girls in Bettie Page haircuts carrying riding crops, so that one’s a draw. That by way of welcoming me “To the Garden of Sex at the Fluffy Bunnies Brier Patch,” the Geniez website shows me a series of tempting women with their legs spread — well, that’s a draw, too, given some of the randomness I’ve encountered in San Francisco galleries. Could it be art or trash? Who knows? Or maybe — gasp — both!?!?
I am, of course, joshing, since it’s pretty obvious that your position on this particular case is going to be determined by whether or not you think dancing for purely erotic intent should be legal, not whether you think it might serve the “higher purpose” of art. Those two opinions might intersect, but you’re not going to convince anyone who thinks nude dancing is obscene that it’s nonetheless cool because it’s “art.” And Geniez is far from the first strip club to present itself as a performance art venue — there’s a time-honored tradition of strip clubs and dance halls-theater venues having a fuzzy line, or no line, between them; that tradition stretches back at least to the Barbary Coast era in San Francisco, and arguably further back, to dance halls in England.
The dancing of the unnamed 17-year-old was probably not a high point for the legal rights of fine arts devotees in southwestern Iowa, since if she’d waited a few months ’till her 18th birthday, there would have been no legal problem. That’s despite the fact that the girl was the daughter of the Sheriff. The authorities deny that’s what this is about — and we all know 17-year-olds never sneak into strip clubs, right?
The case is being pushed by the media not because it will offer any meaningful precedent, but because there’s oodles of prurient interest here. Theoretically, the case could hinge on whether nude dancing is protected speech. It won’t, though, because the dancer whose rights may have been violated is 17. The idea that a 17-year-old would have a constitutionally protected right to dance nude is in my estimation an idea that “Iowa” and “The United States,” are utterly unable to comprehend. Regardless, any decision in the case would have to be appealed before it could be evaluated on state constitutional grounds, let alone making its way to the Supreme Court. It probably won’t be.
KNCY Country Music Radio reports that we could have a decision in this case as early as today . . . for all the difference it will make in legal terms, despite the media’s hand-wringing. But as for my summer vacation roadtripping to Hamburg, Iowa to experience The Garden of Sex in the Fluffy Bunnies Brier Patch — that’s hanging by a thread, my friends.
Thomas S. Roche blogs about Goth, God, and Zombies at thomasroche.com.
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Sunday, 27 July 2008
| 12:00 am
| Toys
With a body like a rhythm fish, all ridgey goodness, you know that the Purr Silicone Vibrator isn’t one you’re going to ignore easily. The small, closely-spaced ridges start about an inch and a half down the purple shaft and add a noticeable ripply sensation as you insert the toy. Yes, that’s right, this dildo is ribbed for your pleasure, though this is far bumpier than any ribbed condom you’ve ever tried. Add the vibrations from the (included) one-touch bullet vibe that fits into a notch on the bottom, and you’ll soon realize just how the Purr Silicone Vibrator got its name!
The silicone is on the firmer side (though still with some give to it), which means that the vibrations are transmitted rather well, especially near the base. And, for those who like a bigger toy up the butt, those vibrations are right at the entrance, where a million nerve endings are going to thank you for your thoughtfulness. Not a beginner anal toy, the ridges definitely add an intense sensation in this area as you insert the Purr. 6-3/4″ insertable, about 1-3/8″ wide. Whether you use it to make a happy butt or a purring pussy, the Purr Silicone Vibrator is sure to please. Here kitty kitty!
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Saturday, 26 July 2008
| 12:00 am
| Toys
If you’ve been curious about e-stim play, but you don’t want to shell out the big bucks for a whole system just to see if it’s for you, the only option, up until now, was to try something like the Electrosex Remote-Control Butterfly. Which is way fun, don’t get me wrong, but doesn’t really let you feel the tingly sensation of insertable e-stim play. Our new Electrosex Silicone Vibrator All-in-One Unit solves that problem, giving you a sweet silicone vibrator with its own dedicated power box; even the batteries are included, so its ready to go!
The silicone means that it’s not nearly as hard and unforgiving as the metal dildos that you usually see as e-stim attachments, which makes it that much better for beginners. The current cycles on its own through various sensations — from pulsating bursts to tingly strokes, and so on — for three minutes each; note that this means you cannot control what type of sensation comes when. But, you can control the intensity, which is a good thing, as the first cycle is very much a warm-up, and you might need to dial it down by the second cycle of sensations, (though this toy does not get as strong a current as other, full e-stim systems will). The current passes from one side of the dildo to the other, making the walls of your vagina contract — some folks say it feels like the dildo is fucking them by itself. A very unusual and delicious sensation indeed!
And, of course, it’s also a vibrator, which makes it even more stimulating (or tingly, as the current feels stronger when the vibrator is running). The vibrations are controlled separately so if it turns out you hate the e-stim part of the toy, you still have a very useful vibrator you can play with. 6″ long overall, 5-1/4″ insertable, the shaft is oval, not round, and measures 1-5/8″ wide at widest point one way and 1-7/16″ wide the other. Because the base is small (1-5/16″ one way and 1-1/16″ the other) we don’t really recommend this as an anal toy. A shockingly good time in an All-in-One unit!
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Friday, 25 July 2008
| 10:21 am
| Culture
I really wish I’d known about this years ago.
If I had, I would have gotten my ass to the gym long before I finally did.
I wish I’d known it years ago. Which is why I’m telling all y’all. It’s this:
Working out is hot.
I don’t mean that it makes you look hot and attractive: i.e., gives you a firmer body, better posture, a healthier and more attractive appearance generally. It does, but that’s not what I’m talking about.
And I don’t mean that it makes you feel hot and attractive: i.e., increases your libido, gives you better energy, makes you feel more comfortable in your own skin. It does, but that’s not what I’m talking about, either.
I mean that the activity itself is hot. Arousing. Sexually pleasurable.
Or it can be, anyway.
For one thing, if you’re at all into kink, there’s a wonderfully kinky flavor to working out. The weight equipment at the gym especially. The one that forces your legs apart and makes you squeeze them together? The one that puts you on your back with your hands and your chest pinned down? The one that presses your arms back and pushes your tits out? Yum. And there’s a toppy aspect to it, too: a feeling of forcefulness, of power, of pushing against resistance and making it yield.
Even if you’re not into weights, the soreness and endorphin high you get from pushing your physical limits a little bit more each day will be immediately familiar to anyone who’s enjoyed a good spanking. (Although you have to be careful with this — I actually did myself a mild injury from bench pressing too much weight, because it “hurt so good.”)
But it’s not just about kink.
There’s also the whole “being in a room full of healthy, athletic people, many of whom are dressed in skimpy or tight- fitting clothing” thing. Personally, that often doesn’t do much for me: I tend to go into my own little world when I work out, and I don’t usually pay much attention to the other gym patrons. (In fact, I once lost points in the “lust” section of a “seven deadly sins” morality quiz because I didn’t think of the gym as a cruising ground.)
But sometimes, it just can’t be helped. I don’t like to cruise at the gym — if you’re not a gay man, I think it’s kind of rude — but I’ve definitely spent some of my time at the gym pumping my thigh muscles and surreptitiously admiring other people’s . . . um, tattoos.
But that’s not the main thing.
The main thing is this.
I am:
(a) a person who tends to live in my head, and
(b) a person who tends to be horny.
So anything that pushes me out of my head and into my body will usually get me thinking about sex.
And being at the gym does exactly that. It forces me to pay attention to my body, to feel what’s happening in my flesh and joints and bones. And that almost always gets me turned on. Not in a generalized, “being in touch with my body” way, but in a very specific, immediate, “firm nipples and hard clit” way. It gets me paying close, careful attention to my thighs and my ass, my back and my chest, my hands and my feet.
Which gets me hot.
And which keeps me going back every week.
So consider this a public service announcement. People talk a lot about exercise as a natural anti-depressant . . . but it’s also a natural aphrodisiac. And I think if more people knew this, a lot more people would be getting their asses to the gym, and keeping them there.
The gym per se might not be for you. I personally find weightlifting to be totally hot, but I’m also a firm believer in the idea that the best exercise is the one that you enjoy and will therefore stick with. So if weights and treadmills don’t do it for you, then try basketball or fencing or synchronized swimming.
But if you’re trying to find inspiration to get more regular exercise, and if you’re also a horny person who lives too much in your head, you might find that this works for you as well. Working out is hot. It doesn’t just make you healthy and energetic; it doesn’t just reduce stress and depression; it doesn’t just improve your sleep. It also turns you on. It gives your body something it loves and is hungry for . . . and your body pays you back in sexual pleasure.
Greta Christina, copyright © 2008. Be sure to check out Greta’s blog.
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Thursday, 24 July 2008
| 12:00 pm
| Videos
Porn triple threat Madison Young (she writes, she directs, and best of all, she performs) is in a period of explosive prolificacy right now, creating heaps of hardcore porn with heart and verve. Can she keep up this pace without the quality diminishing? I hope so — and her latest, Writers and Rockstars, is just as good as the others. These are smart, short indie flicks, gems of boutique filmmaking, without a lot of bullshit or artificiality, just people who love fucking, doing what they do best. Though most known for her bondage work, Madison moves away from the reliance on ropes and chains a bit in this one, and proves herself equally adept at straight porn — though there’s still some improvised bondage and S&M moments, of course.
Madison plays a poet with extensive experience fucking rockstars, which has given her great insights — like, for example, the realization that rockstars fuck the way they play music. Some go hard and fast and overwhelm you with noise, some go slow and carefully and overwhelm you with technique, and some are better off just playing by themselves in their bedrooms. The sex scenes mostly include Madison, and they’re all fantastic. In the first, she does astonishing cocksucking work with James Mogul, while he records her on a handheld video camera (except for the moments when he puts the camera down to pull her hair). Next she has a backstage romp with Daniel, and their chemistry is undeniable — he chokes her with his belt, gags her with her panties, and fucks her silly. (Eventually he pours candlewax on her, which is afterglow of a sort.) Next, while helping busty blonde musician Dia set up for a gig in a bar, the two get understandably distracted and start to fuck. Licking, fingering, a Hitachi magic wand, a big dildo, more candlewax . . . Alas, the final scene doesn’t really involve Madison — except emotionally — but it’s hard to find fault with it otherwise. Dia, still naked and disheveled, walks in on indie porn pro Dylan Ryan in the bathroom and has a fangirl moment of her own. Dylan fucks Dia with a strap-on, and it’s punk-porn perfection. (Madison does walk in on them, and has a moment of horror at what she witnesses.)
It’s a great movie overall, and it’s a turn-on knowing the leading lady wrote and directed these scenes . . . after all, one can assume that she’s doing things she really wants to do, and her enjoyment seems totally genuine.
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