Friday, 31 August 2007
| 5:11 pm
| Advice
Everyone here at Blowfish is just ecstatic to welcome back our former toy buyer, Rebekah Skoor, in her new role: as a columnist for the Blowfish Blog! Her column, “The Couple’s Couch,” will appear every Friday.
I’ve been pondering the idea writing a sex column for years. After all, I didn’t sweat through years of a master’s degree in human sexuality just to field friendly queries about butt-plugs and fisting at dinner parties. But the lurking truth of the matter always sneaks up and undermines my writing confidence; the truth being that a master’s degree in sexuality does not a sex-master make. Sure, I’ve spent years working through other people’s sex issues behind the thin veil of professional distance, but on some tear away I feel that sex writers should be invincible in the bedroom if they are to be taken at their word. I mean, you wouldn’t trust a barista who drinks nothing but tea or a hair stylist with a terrible perm, so shouldn’t I be held to the same standard of professionalism?
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Thursday, 30 August 2007
| 12:00 am
| Culture
This one isn’t sitting right with me.
You’ve almost certainly heard about it: Senator Larry Craig; Republican from Idaho; massive anti-gay voting record; got caught trying to pick up a man in a public bathroom in the Minneapolis airport. By now you know the drill.
Now, I’m usually up for a good round of Schadenfreude when right-wing Republican politicians and Christian Right leaders get caught engaging in the exact sex acts they publicly railed against. And boy, is it happening a lot these days.
But this time, it isn’t sitting right with me. The gleeful Schadenfreude, the “holy shit, not again!” eye-rolling, the cackling over cosmic/ karmic/ poetic justice being served . . . it isn’t sitting right with me this time.
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Dear Blowfish,
Do you have any dildos/vibrators that can be heated up?
Silicone dildos (which we have in realistic, semi-realistic, and non-realistic styles) can be heated easily by running them under hot water for a few minutes. If that’s not hot enough for ya, you can even boil the suckers, though I’d test the temperature against your wrist to make sure it’s not too hot before plunging it into any sensitive orifices.
Happy playing!
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Wednesday, 29 August 2007
| 3:13 pm
| Toys
Two of our favorite silicone dildos now come in a vibrating variation! Presenting the Leo Vibe and the Mistress Vibe.
I’ve been a big fan of the Leo dildo for years now. In fact, it was my very first high-quality silicone dildo; I chose the Leo because it felt good in the hand — at 1-1/2″ wide it’s slightly larger than the average penis, with a rather attractive semi-realistic head and a nice, long, 7-1/8″ insertable shaft. A great dildo to strap on and peg your boyfriend with, assuming he’s got some experience in that department (the Leo is probably too big for butt-play beginners).
But now, now, you can get a Leo that vibrates. The Leo Vibe has a hollow space at the base of the dildo which fits a One-Touch Bullet Vibrator (included) perfectly. It vibes nice and hard near the base, and translates reasonably well all the way to the tip of the dildo, too. And it comes in a gorgeous ivory shimmer color as well. A great way to add a little oomph! to one of our favorite dildos!
Speaking of pegging guys in the butt, the Mistress Dildo has long been a favorite dildo for harnessed butt-play here at Blowfish. Long enough at 6″ insertable that it leaves you a nice stretch to penetrate with, but slender enough at 1-3/16″ to reassure nearly any nervous bottom you might present it to. And, just like the Leo, the Mistress now comes with a vibrating option. The included One-Touch Bullet Vibrator fits perfectly in the base, and, like the Leo, can be pushed far enough in so that it’s flush with the base, making it suitable for harness use. Make your favorite butt tingle with the Mistress Vibe!
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Wednesday, 29 August 2007
| 3:12 pm
| Books
If you’re curious just how many different kinds of fetishes there are out there, have I got a book for you. Fetish 101 takes a brief, but visually appealing, look at 101 different fetishes in this glossy, colorful picture book. With only a paragraph or two of text and a shiny photo illustrating the fetish in question, you’re not going to be using this book for your dissertation, but it’s a delightful way to acquaint yourself with the various ways in which you and your fellow man can be kinky. From Nurse fetishes to Hazmat play, Fetish 101 is as varied as it is fun to look at. A great addition to any naughty library, kinky coffee table, or reading for the bondage bathroom in your basement.
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Wednesday, 29 August 2007
| 3:12 pm
| Videos
Do you, like so many men, have trouble recognizing various forms of lingerie? Are you reduced to verbal circumlocutions like “Why don’t you put on that thing with the stringy bit that goes up your ass crack, and the close-woven net devices that, like extra-long socks, cover your legs, baby?” (The words you’re looking for, by the way, are “thong” and “stockings.”) Then Tiffany’s Lingerie Lesson can help you! Learn to recognize “The Bra,” “The Panty” (in my world we call them “panties,” but let it pass), “The Corset,” “Nylons,” and “The Baby Doll.” You’ll wonder how you got by for so long without this knowledge! Your girlfriend will stop laughing at you! (About this particular issue, anyway.)
Okay, I mock. But the emphasis on lingerie here is actually rather nice, since so many porn movies appear to do their costuming out of the grab-bag lingerie box from the dressing room of a strip club, with mismatched underwear and entirely too much leopard print. This movie’s different, with some thought given to the costuming, and even if the conceit isn’t brilliant, it’s a good excuse to put hot women in skimpy underthings. Plus, Tiffany Taylor is an attractive brunette, and her first anal scene ever appears in this film (though admittedly it’s quite brief). There’s a nice variety in the scenes, ranging from boy-girl to girl-girl to girl-girl-boy, and Tiffany’s brief educational interludes (explaining, for example, when and by whom the brassiere was invented) are cute and short enough that they aren’t annoying. The fashion show bits — with actresses modeling various kinds of bras, panties, corsets, etc. — are nice in theory, though the close-ups on the lingerie mean the heads of all the women are strangely cropped out of the frame, so you get headless ladies modeling corsets, which is a bit creepy.
The sex scenes themselves could have made better use of the lingerie as well; too often, the nice underthings get stripped off quickly, or the camera angles are such that you can’t really see what they’re wearing. A woman in a corset giving a blowjob is hot, but why zoom in so close that you can’t see what she’s wearing at all? Those quibbles aside, though, this is a solid film, and a pretty one, worth a look if you like your women dressed up.
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Wednesday, 29 August 2007
| 3:11 pm
| Videos
When it comes to sitcoms, I despise clip shows, those lazy assemblages of footage from previous episodes stitched together with some lame frame story or vague thematic connection. Bleah. Thus, my initial reaction to picking up a compilation video is to snort derisively and say, “What, they didn’t make enough money off these flicks the first time, so they try to trick us into buying the same footage again?” Upon reflection, however, I realized that’s an unreasonable response. Because the truth is, a lot of porn movies have only one or two good scenes amid a bunch of more lackluster scenes. A compilation video, in theory, can combine several of those best scenes from various movies into some sort of amazing uber-porn. And it’s only a rip-off if you’ve seen all the original movies before, right?
The compilation under discussion today — Joanna Angel’s Alt Corruption — features Joanna Angel in every scene, which is a definite mark in the “pro” column. Even the various movies that bear her name above the title don’t have her in every scene, so this is a pure triple-distilled dose of Joanna. As far as I know she’s only made about thirty films at this point, so serious devotees of her quirky sexy style may have seen her in these situations before. But if you’re unfamiliar with Joanna, or only glancingly familiar and want to see more, this is a great place to begin, as it showcases her various wonderful attributes (and I don’t just mean her breasts — she’s got some of the best comic timing in the business).
This is “alt porn,” and you know what that means — tattoos! piercings! weird hair! striped knee socks! Joanna is joined by some of my favorite alt-porn stars, notably Charlotte Stokely and Chapel Waste, in scenes from Porny Monster, Joanna Angel’s Guide 2 Humping, Joanna’s Angels 2: Alt Throttle, Joanna’s Angels, 2wice As Nice, and Neu Wave Hookers. There’s lots of anal, great blowjobs, girl-girl-girl scenes, three-ways, and more. Sure, you miss out on the plots . . . but, really, that’s not much of a loss. It’s a Joanna Angel sample platter. Dig in.
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Nude activism is a venerable tradition, dating back at least to the 1000s, when Lady Godiva made her famous naked ride through Coventry to relieve the burdensome taxation laid on the citizens by her husband. (So the legend says, anyway.) Though, to be fair, that wasn’t so much activism as a kinky bet; her husband said he’d ease up on the taxes if she rode naked through the streets, thinking she’d never do it, but she proved him wrong, after first securing promises from the townspeople that they wouldn’t look. Only one person in town — the original “Peeping Tom” — disobeyed, and he went blind, which should tell you how hot the Lady was! But, still, she serves as a symbol for the power of naked body parts to create social change.
Renowned photographer Spencer Tunick is famous for his large-scale installations featuring hundreds of naked people arranged in the landscape. (We have one of his photos on the wall at home, actually, and if you know where to look, you can see my own hot wife among the many naked people laying in the desert.) He recently partnered with environmental organization Greenpeace for a living sculpture designed to highlight the danger of the melting glaciers: Hundreds of naked people gathered on the remnants of a glacier to demonstrate the vulnerability of the landforms to climate change. Check out the link above for photos. (My wife isn’t in that one. It’s a little on the cold side for her.)
Lots of World Naked Bike Rides are happening this summer, a series of huge events organized to protest the world’s dependence on oil. Sure, a lot of people riding bikes to protest oil consumption is nothing new, but making them all naked — now that’s newsworthy! Their website has photos, history, a list of participating cities, and a truly impressive FAQ. Even if you missed this year’s rides, there are plenty planned for next year, so get ready (and invest in a comfy bicycle seat).
Photographer Oliver Regueiro has a cool new project, Environmental Refugee, that highlights the plight of people displaced by environmental disasters (he says the Red Cross now estimates that more people are displaced by environmental problems than by wars). His photographs are beautiful and sad, depicting nude people in partially-submerged or arid landscapes, and a portion of the proceeds from any prints sold will be donated to organizations that help refugees. It’s a little short on specifics, like how much goes to charity, but vagueness aside, it’s a noble project, and the photos are gorgeous.
So go get naked and do some good!
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Thursday, 23 August 2007
| 3:50 pm
| Culture
It was a letter to Savage Love that made me think of it. As it so often is.
The inquisitor had a fetish for being shampooed; didn’t know how to find a female partner who would play along; and had been trying — unsuccessfully — to pay hair salons to give him the pleasure. Dan’s response (apart from “Get some social skills”) was, I thought, very sensible:
Find a sex worker.
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Dear Blowfish,
We’d love to use a 100% vegan lube . . . but how can we tell?
Unless the manufacturer has promised us that the lube in question is vegan, we have no idea whether a particular lube is vegan or not. In general, it’s best to stay away from most lubes that contain glycerin, since that is usually (but not always), derived from animals. However, we currently do carry a couple lubes that claim to be 100% vegan. Intimate Infusions Lubricant is “all natural”; the glycerin in these lubes come from vegetables and they’re made from a natural formula. A few of the Sliquid lubes — specifically Sliquid H2O and Sliquid Sassy — say “100% vegan” in their list of ingredients, and all of their bottles say “Never tested on animals”. And I did see that the O’My lubes specify vegetable glycerin in their list of ingredients, though I can’t vouch for the rest of their ingredients.
As far as condoms are concerned, from what we can tell, most latex is indeed vegan, although some brands may use a protein derived from milk in their formulation process. For that reason, to be sure of not interacting with animal products, we offer polyurethane condoms (that to the best of our collective knowledge are vegan). If you know of any reason to believe that Avanti polyurethane condoms are not vegan, please do let us know!
Happy playing!
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Wednesday, 22 August 2007
| 3:06 pm
| Toys
Butt-travaganza continues! Last week I introduced several fabulous silicone plugs in various sizes. This week we have two new materials — glass and metal/ e-stim — in beginner/ intermediate sizes to stimulate your tushies to new heights of anal joy.
When the samples of these gorgeous glass butt-plugs came into our office, there was a Blowfishie feeding frenzy over who got to test which color. Thank goodness there were enough to go around! The diminutive size of these Twilight Glass Butt-Plug meant that no butt was left behind — these are beginner-sized at a smidge over 1-1/4″ at the widest point (the neck is 1/2″ wide), with an insertable length of 2-3/4″. But the best part about these pretties is the gentle fade of color from the dark tips to just past halfway down the plug. Comes in blue fade, pink fade and violet fade, which reminded us of the sky just after the sun sets, hence the name. A beautiful end to any day, or any rear end, you may encounter.
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Wednesday, 22 August 2007
| 3:05 pm
| Toys
While one of the things we love about the majority of the Electrosex line of butt-toys is their lightweight, aluminum bodies, there are some of you who miss the heavy, don’t-let-it- slip-out-’cause-you- might-break-a-toe, solid stainless steel electric butt-plugs of yore. Well, yearn no longer! The Electrosex Cone Butt-Plug is heavy, weighing just under 1-1/4 pounds, so you’ll notice this plug even before you turn on the juice! It’s also traditionally butt-plug shaped, like an upside-down ice-cream cone, and is only 1-3/8″ wide at the widest point (with a 5/8″ wide neck). It is rather long at 5″ insertable (4″ of that is the plug itself). A nice heavy plug for those of you who like something weighty in your e-stim butt-play!
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Wednesday, 22 August 2007
| 3:05 pm
| Books
If you’re curious (or even dubious) about how women use the internet to gratify their sexual needs, you must read Naked on the Internet. Author Audacia Ray interviewed dozens and dozens of women about what sexy things they get up to online — from making a living doing web-cam shows to simply finding a date via Craigslist, the range is astounding. The history of women’s sexual use of the internet is worth the price of the book alone. Fascinating and extensively researched, this book goes beyond the how and into the tricky territory of why.
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Wednesday, 22 August 2007
| 3:04 pm
| Videos
Sex educator Tristan Taormino literally wrote the book on anal sex for women (it’s called The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women), and now she’s teamed up with porn powerhouse Vivid video to make a high-quality DVD primer on the subject. It’s part of a series of “expert guide” videos written by Tristan that also cover oral sex and will, presumably, extend to other subjects in time. (Apparently as part of their new commitment to education, Vivid decided to skip the long sequence of spam trailers for herbal viagra and phone sex lines that they usually inflict on viewers before the feature.) The film begins with an “Anal Workshop” (which would be a great name for a punk band) featuring Tristan, a couple of lovely assistants, and a diverse group of audience members. There’s a big anatomical diagram showing where everything is, which is pretty far from sexy, but if you don’t know this stuff, you should, and how often do you get to hear someone refer to the outer and inner sphincters as “the gatekeepers to your ass”? Tristan talks about the physical joys of anal sex (lots of nerve endings, indirect g-spot simulation!) and the dangers (it’s vulnerable, tearable tissue down there), and her assistants demonstrate with fingers and toys. She also discusses the psychological aspect of anal sex, and how it’s exciting because it’s still largely taboo. I wonder how long it’ll remain a taboo, though — Sex in the City was talking frankly about anal sex on TV years ago, and nowadays teens who make abstinence pledges are having anal sex so they can remain technically “virgins” (or so I’ve read on certain websites, but maybe the source is not so reliable?).
It’s all very informative, covering the necessity of warming up, the dangers of lubes that contain numbing agents, and giving practical suggestions for various techniques. There are a couple of lengthy scenes with couples having anal sex, and unlike most mainstream ass-porn, these actually show the lube being applied! (Watching some anal videos, you’d think all it takes is some spit and determination.) These scenes can be watched with Tristan’s voiceover commentary and pop-up instructions and notes on screen, or watched as straight sex scenes without all the teacherly bits. There’s also lots of bonus info, including a long how-to on enemas (which are not necessary, of course, but which some people like), a bit on safety and hygiene, and a behind-the-scenes feature. This is a relatively short film, but it’s packed with information, and if in general it’s more educational than titillating, that’s okay — take what you’ve learned and go get titillated on your own! (Or with a well-lubricated friend.)
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Wednesday, 22 August 2007
| 3:04 pm
| Videos
Tristan Taormino is a knowledgeable, frank sex expert, and her series of educational videos are a welcome addition to the how-to genre. They’re definitely more educational than sexy, but they’re still a lot sexier than most educational videos. Her guide to oral sex for women, alas, doesn’t feature Tristan herself onscreen much, though she does the voiceover work, and she wrote the whole thing. The film starts with a cunnilingus workshop led by Justine Joli, who’s a lot hotter than my sex ed teacher was. The workshop features a big annotated diagram of the vagina, which is about as anatomical and unsexy as you’d expect, but if you don’t know where everything’s located, you should, and it’s a very complete rundown. There’s lots of practical advice about warming your partner up, avoiding direct clitoral stimulation when you first get started, and suggestions for assorted techniques that go well beyond the venerable “write-the-alphabet-with-your-tongue” trick. The tips are not exclusively about the mouth, either, but also include suggestions for toys, manual stimulation, and so on. The workshop is followed by two scenes with couples talking about their own cunnilingus preferences and experiences, followed by demonstrations of various techniques and positions, with helpful commentary. If — as an old girlfriend of mine once memorably said — you’re just all about licking some snatch, you can skip all the educational bits and go straight to the demonstration scenes and watch some enthusiastic people get their lick on. There’s an option to watch those scenes as pure porn, or with Tristan’s voiceover commentary and little helpful pop-ups on screen indicating particular techniques. Your choice. As educational guides, this is awesome, though as pure masturbation-material porn, it’s only so-so. There are also bonus features, including a rather hot scene with Justine Joli and Ariel X, plus info on safe oral sex techniques. Though it’s a relatively short film, it’s incredibly informative and well-produced. Check it out. The woman in your life will thank you.
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It’s a truism of advertising that sex sells, and if your product can even remotely be connected to sexuality or sexual attractiveness, that’s a connection worth exploiting. Now, these ads can be crass and obvious, or they can be clever. Here’s some of the better ads (and associated commentary) I’ve encountered online lately:
Prockey Markers! How, you may ask, can you possibly make waterproof markers in various colors sexy? Easy. With pictures of girls in drawn-on bikinis! I confess, it took me a couple of minutes before I realized that, yes, those swimsuits were nothing more than ink and good design . . .
Sports and sex go well together, too — athletes tend to have great bodies, after all. But the French tourism board took a unique approach in its attempt to lure British tourists to their country for the rugby World Cup: Posters of rugby players French kissing one another. Nothing says “France” like sweaty, muscular men making out in a stadium!
Condom ads, of course, have a rather obvious connection to sex, and they often manage to sell themselves with humor, too. Here’s a compilation of clever commercials for condoms. I think my favorite is the one where the loser guy’s penis starts shouting at him and demanding he try to hook up with girl, but there are lots of funny clips there.
WiseCamel.com has an interesting article revealing “10 Sales and Marketing Tips I Learned From Strippers”, from tempting potential customers by giving them something for nothing, to understanding your customer, to branding: “I don’t know any strippers that are named Ethel, Mildred or Agnus. Instead, you will get the pleasure to do business with Cookie, Destiny, Candy, or Raven.” Business students, take note.
Alas, not all combinations of sex and advertising are funny or smart or laudable. Consider this rather heinous Brazilian ad campaign for fat-free yogurt, which features larger women reenacting famous sexy movie scenes, with a tagline that reads “Forget about it. Men’s preferences will never change.” The implication is that women who see these ads will realize fat ladies aren’t sexy, and that if they’re overweight they’ll never get a man, and so they should start gobbling low-fat yogurt post-haste. Grr. Never mind the fact that one of the reenactments is of Marilyn Monroe on the air vent with her skirt blowing up — Marilyn was a curvy woman, after all, and would be considered grossly overweight by Hollywood’s current loony standards for female beauty. And the woman in the American Beauty reenactment ad, covered in roses? She’s way hotter, in my opinion, than the skinny teen in the original. Yum.
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Thursday, 16 August 2007
| 12:00 am
| Culture
It’s almost a throwaway line. And yet it’s stuck with me for weeks.
“I figured out pretty soon that, to get a video that pushes all your buttons and doesn’t grate on any squicks, you have to win the lottery and produce it yourself.”
This is spanking model Adele Haze, in a blog piece titled “Why I Modelled for Lupus Pictures.” It’s a smart, insightful piece about why she was willing — not just willing, but happy — to perform in a spanking video for a production company that she knew was going to physically push her much, much harder than she liked. The piece has some compelling implications, not just about spanking porn or even porn in general, but about any kind of sexual relationship, and indeed any kind of job.
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Dear Blowfish,
Before when I would glance at the whips and floggers section of your site I would wince a little. But recently while having sex with my girlfriend I had her bite me and loved it. Now I’m actually looking at your whips and floggers with definite interest and arousal. The problem is, I have no clue as to what to get for a real newbie like me. Any suggestions?
Ah, those love bites have been a gateway drug to spanking and BDSM for more than one of us. The best book we have that deals only with the spanking side of BDSM is The Compleat Spanker, which is an excellent beginner’s guide to the why and how of all things spanking. It talks about different implements (floggers and crops along with hands and paddles), different positions, safety concerns, etc.
I agree with the book’s recommendation that the next step up from hand spanking would be a well-crafted leather paddle. I personally like the Faux Fleece Lined Leather Paddle for beginners (and just in general), because you’ve the option of leather on one side and soft faux-fleece on the other (which can be used as a striking surface or just to soothe a sore buttock).
If you want a flogger, make sure to get a softer one instead of one of the meaner ones we have on our site. The Burgundy Suede Flogger is a gorgeous flogger that can be used gently as you and your partner learn how to wield it, but can also be swung with greater force as skill increases.
Happy playing!
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Wednesday, 15 August 2007
| 5:21 pm
| Toys
It’s butt-travaganza week here at Blowfish, with not one, not two, but three new butt-plugs ready and willing to plug up your favorite tushie. We brought on the Ace Silicone Butt-Plug about a month ago, and you guys just loved it. The long neck and apple-core base means that this is a plug that’s almost certainly not going anywhere once you have it lodged firmly (but lovingly), in your ass, and the reasonable 1-1/4″ wide head makes it a good choice for most beginners (or advanced beginners). But if the Ace was a bit too small for you, now we’ve got the Ace 2. A good deal wider at 1-5/8″ wide, this puppy has all the fabulous, stay-put features that its little brother does.
Also new this week is the Tulip Silicone Butt-Plug. This pretty little plug is unique in that it also stays in place very well — but for a slightly different reason. While the neck of the Tulip is longer than most other butt-plugs, it’s not quite as long as the Ace. However, the difference between the bottom of the flared, “tulip” part of the head of the plug and the neck is drastic enough that it’s easy to cinch down on the neck — once you’re past that flared bit. It, too, has an apple-core base, so it fits neatly betwixt your cheeks once it’s in place. Comes in two sizes: Small, 3-3/4 insertable x 1-3/4″ wide (Purple Haze only) and Large, 4-1/2″ insertable x 1-15/16″ at the widest point (Black only).
Now, you might have noticed that the Ace looks an awful lot like the Tristan Silicone Butt-Plug, and, though they’re made by different manufacturers, I’d have to agree with you. In fact, it occurred to me that you can almost make yourself a graduated set of high-quality, silicone butt-plugs by alternating the different sizes of the Ace and the Tristan, and you can make it even better by mixing in the Tulips. So, I’ve gone ahead and listed all of these plugs in order of their widest point (which, let’s face it, is the measurement of great import when it comes to all things anal), starting with the smallest, so if you’d like to work your way, set some goals, or just make a neat little display on your bedside table, you don’t have to bust out your fifth grade math to compare the fractions like I just did. Who loves ya, baby?
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Wednesday, 15 August 2007
| 5:21 pm
| Comix
Attention all Omaha fans! The second volume of The Complete Omaha the Cat Dancer is here. For those of you who aren’t familiar, Omaha is a cat (well, cat with a very womanly body) who is renowned as one of the best exotic dancers around. In the first volume, she meets the tom cat of her dreams, but ends up having to flee her hometown’s corrupt government for San Francisco. The second volume is even wilder, with kidnapping, plot twists and intrigue that would make any daytime soap opera proud, and some very hot, somewhat scandalous, sex. Omaha the Cat Dancer was, and probably still is, the most banned comic book ever (apparently, the authorities simply can’t deal with its combination of great art, a coherent, mature story line, and lots of hot sex that has a great deal to do with the plot). Don’t miss out on the continuing adventures of Omaha and her friends. If you only buy one graphic novel, we strongly recommend this one.
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Wednesday, 15 August 2007
| 5:20 pm
| Videos
I’ve been known to say unkind things about certain Paul Thomas movies. He occasionally sleepwalks through his minor films, and the movies that are close to his heart sometimes suffer from excessive pretentiousness, and take themselves too seriously. He doesn’t always strike the right balance between his desire to make an interesting movie and the need to make a hot movie.
But with Layout, all is forgiven. Thomas is firing on all cylinders here, with a funny, biting, insightful look at the adult movie industry itself. He’s found the perfect subject for his vision. The plot centers around staffers at a thinly-disguised version of Adult Video News, the trade journal for the adult film industry, and there are lots of great characters — Tom Byron as the long-suffering editor, Tyce Bune as the slowly-going-insane publisher, Marcos Leon as the hotshot new reporter, and best of all, Penny Flame as the cold-eyed, coldhearted junior editor. I’ve always liked Penny Flame, but watching her here, I’m amazed she didn’t pursue a career in mainstream cinema — she’s got an amazing range, from warm and winning to dead-eyed and terrifying. This role is a revelation.
There’s some dark nasty stuff going on with the characters — extortion, madness, jealousy, disillusionment, obsession — but there’s funny stuff, too. The “behind the scenes” glimpses at movie sets are amusing, and the various porn films within the film are sometimes hilarious — “The Three Muskatettes” especially is so over-the-top cheesy it had me laughing out loud. Thomas is even willing to laugh at himself, with one character complaining that a particular director is kind of pretentious — “It’s always Fellini this, Fellini that.” Thomas has a well-known fondness for Fellini, and even if it’s an in-joke, it’s hard not to like a director who’s willing to have a laugh at his own expense. Fellini aside, the mainstream director this movie reminded me of the most is Robert Altman. A series of loosely overlapping and interconnected vignettes about disaffected Angelenos trying to find meaning and love, or at least a way to get through the night? I’m not saying Layout is in the same class as Short Cuts, but the structure and emotional territory aren’t all that dissimilar. It’s a great accomplishment. Maybe overall the movie runs a bit long, but that’s a quibble.
But the other important criterion: Is it hot? Oh, yes. It’s hot, and it’s hardcore. Anal, dp, and a fair bit of bondage (most of the latter featuring the aforementioned wonderful Penny Flame). Almost all the sex is vital to the character studies Thomas is trying to create, too, which is a bonus. This one is smart, sexy, self-aware, and satirical — and as Tom Byron’s editor character would say, that’s some damn good alliteration, even if I do say so myself.
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Wednesday, 15 August 2007
| 5:20 pm
| Videos
I have a soft spot for low-tech Australian lesbian movies, I’ve discovered. AbbyWinters.com specializes in realistic scenes with cute amateur performers, most of whom have girl-next-door looks (if you’re next door to the antipodes, I suppose). There are two long scenes, each featuring a different pair of girls, and they’re very no-frills — just two cute girls, a messy room, and playful sex. The first couple, Chloe B. and Paula, are adorable, and their kissing is really sexy, a little tentative at first, then gradually more forceful. They seem to have a good time exploring one another’s bodies, and there’s a nicely meandering quality to their scene — unlike in some porn, where it seems the actors are fucking toward an imaginary finish line. There’s one moment drawn straight from bad fake lesbian porn, as they go crotch-to-crotch on the floor and “scissor,” but even that doesn’t seem exactly fake — more like two lovers trying out something they saw in a porno once. (They don’t seem too thrilled with the experiment.) The second scene, with Ava & Tammy B., begins rather strangely as they try to put on the same pair of pants — it’s difficult to describe, and I’m not sure what the point was, unless it’s a visual pun about “getting into each other’s pants”? They’re more athletic and passionate than the first couple, and when one of them goes on all fours and puts her ass in the air for her partner’s enjoyment, it’s definitely hot, if not as sweet as the first scene. I wouldn’t go so far as to say their scene “redefines (sets a new standard in?) lesbian lovemaking,” as the box copy would have it, but it’s fair to say they have some fun with the old standards.
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Objectification is one of the fundamental fetishes from which myriad kinks flow. Various flavors of BDSM rely on (consensual) objectification, removing the personality and humanity from someone and transforming them into an object of fun or utility or abuse. Here are some object lessons:
Jeff Gord, founder of House of Gord, is fascinated (”obsessed” is probably not too strong a word) with transforming women into objects, especially furniture — tables, chairs, etc. He calls the process “Forniphilia,” and there’s an extensive F.A.Q at his website describing the philosophy and practice. Even better, here’s a short video featuring lots of examples of his art, most impressively a living chandelier (near the end).
The spiritual (and more artistically respectable) predecessor to Jeff Gord is artist Allen Jones, who made quite a stir in the late ’60s with his sculptures Table, Chair, and Hatstand, which used figures of women transformed into furniture. Check out some photos of his sculptures here. Art aficionados nodded and scowled and made judgments, good or bad, while the secretly kinky among them thought, “How can I try this at home?”
Of course, turning women into furniture is one direction of objectification; turning inanimate objects into facsimiles of women is another. Most readers are probably familiar with RealDolls, the lifelike (for certain values of “lifelike”) love dolls. But American ingenuity is nothing compared to Japanese kink. The “Honey Doll” makes sounds and has fake orgasms (like it could have real ones!), and it’s disturbing on a lot of levels — the model shown at the link above looks barely pubescent, and she’s holding a freaking teddy bear! According to one of the commenters on the site, the doll says “No! That hurts!” among other things. Of course, the fact that users can load any MP3 sounds they want on the dolls means performance artists could have a field day with these things . . .
Finally, a bit of meta-objectification that involves turning a woman into a facsimile of a love doll: The Ultimate Love Doll Suit. A body-encasing latex catsuit with big painted-on doll eyes, a love doll mouth, fake nipples, etc. It occurs to me that the texture of a woman in a latex catsuit would be less lifelike than the artificial skin of a real love doll . . .
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