http://blog.blowfish.com/culture/willing/414 Sponsored by Blowfish: Good Products for Great Sex. Thu, 18 Mar 2010 19:13:51 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.0.7 http://blog.blowfish.com/culture/willing/414#comment-89471 Thu, 10 Sep 2009 06:12:51 +0000 http://blog.blowfish.com/culture/willing/414#comment-89471 [...] I’ve written before, many times, in lavish praise of scheduling sex. I’ve written about how scheduling sex can be one of the best ways to keep sex alive and lively for people who are getting older, people who have been together a long time, people who are just plain busy and overscheduled. I’ve written about the myth that being swept away by passion (as opposed to consciously making room for sex in your life) is inherently the best kind of sex . . . and how this myth reinforces the idea that sex is dirty and bad and the only valid excuse for it is that you were overcome by passion. And I’ve written about how you don’t need to be in the mood to have sex when you start having it: you just need to be willing to get into the mood. [...] […] I’ve written before, many times, in lavish praise of scheduling sex. I’ve written about how scheduling sex can be one of the best ways to keep sex alive and lively for people who are getting older, people who have been together a long time, people who are just plain busy and overscheduled. I’ve written about the myth that being swept away by passion (as opposed to consciously making room for sex in your life) is inherently the best kind of sex . . . and how this myth reinforces the idea that sex is dirty and bad and the only valid excuse for it is that you were overcome by passion. And I’ve written about how you don’t need to be in the mood to have sex when you start having it: you just need to be willing to get into the mood. […]

]]> http://blog.blowfish.com/culture/willing/414#comment-68557 Fri, 24 Apr 2009 22:26:59 +0000 http://blog.blowfish.com/culture/willing/414#comment-68557 [...] I’ve written before about the myth of sexual spontaneity: the myth that, for sex to be good and meaningful, the desire has to strike both partners out of the blue and be acted on immediately. I’ve written about how unrealistic the myth is, how poorly it fits into the reality of many people’s sex lives; I’ve written about the narrow and limiting definition of sexual desire it creates. [...] […] I’ve written before about the myth of sexual spontaneity: the myth that, for sex to be good and meaningful, the desire has to strike both partners out of the blue and be acted on immediately. I’ve written about how unrealistic the myth is, how poorly it fits into the reality of many people’s sex lives; I’ve written about the narrow and limiting definition of sexual desire it creates. […]

]]> http://blog.blowfish.com/culture/willing/414#comment-51858 Fri, 09 Jan 2009 19:29:25 +0000 http://blog.blowfish.com/culture/willing/414#comment-51858 [...] I, myself, have argued that you don’t always need to be in the mood when you start sex. You just need to be willing to be in the mood. If you always wait until you’re both in the mood — especially if either or both of you are stressed, getting older, parents, a couple who’s been together for a while, or just insanely busy — you may wait a good long while, and will wind up having a lot less sex than either of you wants. But starting to have sex can get you in the mood, even if you weren’t in the mood to start with. It’s a good idea sometimes to let yourself be seduced, to start having sex before you’re in the mood and let yourself get drawn in it as you go. [...] […] I, myself, have argued that you don’t always need to be in the mood when you start sex. You just need to be willing to be in the mood. If you always wait until you’re both in the mood — especially if either or both of you are stressed, getting older, parents, a couple who’s been together for a while, or just insanely busy — you may wait a good long while, and will wind up having a lot less sex than either of you wants. But starting to have sex can get you in the mood, even if you weren’t in the mood to start with. It’s a good idea sometimes to let yourself be seduced, to start having sex before you’re in the mood and let yourself get drawn in it as you go. […]

]]> http://blog.blowfish.com/culture/willing/414#comment-5699 Fri, 21 Dec 2007 05:07:28 +0000 http://blog.blowfish.com/culture/willing/414#comment-5699 [...] It can be weird, I won’t deny that. I wrote about this a little in my piece on this blog, Willing. Starting to have sex when my mind is on work and worries and errands and plans can feel awkward at first. But the awkwardness usually passes . . . to be replaced by more pleasurable emotions. [...] […] It can be weird, I won’t deny that. I wrote about this a little in my piece on this blog, Willing. Starting to have sex when my mind is on work and worries and errands and plans can feel awkward at first. But the awkwardness usually passes . . . to be replaced by more pleasurable emotions. […]

]]> http://blog.blowfish.com/culture/willing/414#comment-3651 Tue, 02 Oct 2007 01:42:19 +0000 http://blog.blowfish.com/culture/willing/414#comment-3651 Thank you, Greta. You bring up a powerful point in this piece. Being willing to engage with a partner, be it sexually or otherwise, is paramount in successful communication. While we may desire our loved ones to approach us with unending enthusiasm, the simple fact that they are in fact approach us is a sign that growth is possible. Thank you, Greta. You bring up a powerful point in this piece. Being willing to engage with a partner, be it sexually or otherwise, is paramount in successful communication. While we may desire our loved ones to approach us with unending enthusiasm, the simple fact that they are in fact approach us is a sign that growth is possible.

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