Comments on: Sexual Perspective, or, How Can You Eat That? http://blog.blowfish.com/culture/sexual-perspective-or-how-can-you-eat-that/580 Sponsored by Blowfish: Good Products for Great Sex. Sat, 10 Jan 2009 00:56:07 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.0.7 by: [Greta Christina] Sex, and the Difference between Jaded and Relaxed | Blowfish Blog http://blog.blowfish.com/culture/sexual-perspective-or-how-can-you-eat-that/580#comment-42711 Sat, 08 Nov 2008 01:29:43 +0000 http://blog.blowfish.com/culture/sexual-perspective-or-how-can-you-eat-that/580#comment-42711 [...] In American society, our interest in sex is often very tied up with anxiety, and forbidden-ness, and secrecy. True, we have a popular culture that’s saturated in sexual imagery. But it’s sexual imagery that heightens our anxiety about sex instead of diminishing it. It’s sexual imagery that’s all about how sex is for the young and beautiful and fashionable, and none of the rest of us are good enough. And our popular culture also has the fucked-up paradox of being saturated in sexual imagery — while, at the same time, being pathetically lacking in sexual information. We have exposure . . . but I don’t think we really have what I would call familiarity. [...] […] In American society, our interest in sex is often very tied up with anxiety, and forbidden-ness, and secrecy. True, we have a popular culture that’s saturated in sexual imagery. But it’s sexual imagery that heightens our anxiety about sex instead of diminishing it. It’s sexual imagery that’s all about how sex is for the young and beautiful and fashionable, and none of the rest of us are good enough. And our popular culture also has the fucked-up paradox of being saturated in sexual imagery — while, at the same time, being pathetically lacking in sexual information. We have exposure . . . but I don’t think we really have what I would call familiarity. […]

]]> by: Talking To Mom About BDSM? - Spanking Blog http://blog.blowfish.com/culture/sexual-perspective-or-how-can-you-eat-that/580#comment-12771 Sat, 15 Mar 2008 06:25:46 +0000 http://blog.blowfish.com/culture/sexual-perspective-or-how-can-you-eat-that/580#comment-12771 [...] This ErosBlog post has had me thinking about “the rules” for talking to people about sex and kinkiness. The post linked there (by Greta Christina) talks about how people don’t talk about sex in any detail. While that may be true in the aggregate, it’s been surprising to me just how open many people are about sex and kink, and how many details they do share, especially with trusted friends and select family members. [...] […] This ErosBlog post has had me thinking about “the rules” for talking to people about sex and kinkiness. The post linked there (by Greta Christina) talks about how people don’t talk about sex in any detail. While that may be true in the aggregate, it’s been surprising to me just how open many people are about sex and kink, and how many details they do share, especially with trusted friends and select family members. […]

]]> by: Frangipani http://blog.blowfish.com/culture/sexual-perspective-or-how-can-you-eat-that/580#comment-12493 Wed, 12 Mar 2008 07:27:29 +0000 http://blog.blowfish.com/culture/sexual-perspective-or-how-can-you-eat-that/580#comment-12493 [...] March 12, 2008 Filed under: Sexuality — Araliya @ 6:33 pm I’ve been following Greta Christina’s blog for a few months now and I really enjoy her writing. Her latest post at the Blowfish Blog (whose tagline reads: “Let’s Talk About Sex) about sexual perspective is interesting. Here’s a snippet: Food, music, sex: all of these are powerful, visceral, intensely personal, even overwhelming experiences. And it’s very hard to step back from them and have perspective on how other people might feel about them. Our own feelings about them can be so intense, so all-encompassing, that it makes perspective difficult, even counter-intuitive. [...] […] March 12, 2008 Filed under: Sexuality — Araliya @ 6:33 pm I’ve been following Greta Christina’s blog for a few months now and I really enjoy her writing. Her latest post at the Blowfish Blog (whose tagline reads: “Let’s Talk About Sex) about sexual perspective is interesting. Here’s a snippet: Food, music, sex: all of these are powerful, visceral, intensely personal, even overwhelming experiences. And it’s very hard to step back from them and have perspective on how other people might feel about them. Our own feelings about them can be so intense, so all-encompassing, that it makes perspective difficult, even counter-intuitive. […]

]]> by: Joreth http://blog.blowfish.com/culture/sexual-perspective-or-how-can-you-eat-that/580#comment-12085 Tue, 11 Mar 2008 02:00:55 +0000 http://blog.blowfish.com/culture/sexual-perspective-or-how-can-you-eat-that/580#comment-12085 I couldn't agree with you more. I have 2 unrelated reactions to this. The first is that this is one of the reasons why I am so out about poly and bdsm and why I refuse to censor my own speech with regards to talking about my romantic life in "public" settings. I openly answer any question anyone might ask me about my sex life with casual acceptance of my own life and the assumption that the listener will also accept what I have to say. I believe this is one of the more valuable weapons in my fight for acceptance. When our society learns to accept that there are poly people and kinky people who are perfectly capable of doing their jobs and raising their children, my friends will not be forced to hide who they are and I can choose to *not* discuss things simply because it's my choice, not my fear. My other reaction is a reminder of several conversations I've had with a woman I truly enjoy talking to and being around, but she has one of the most common failings I associate with "feminism" ... she disapproves of prostitution and strippers and other such sex work because of its all-too-common abuse of women in those industries. My reaction is to legalize and regulate it. I believe it's much more difficult to abuse your employees when they have the right to unionize against you and when the government pokes their nose into your wallet to make sure you are paying your taxes and your employees fairly. But many of those who self-identify as feminists (not all, certainly) remain against the sex industry because they believe only desperately destitute women would consider it as a viable employment opportunity. Mainly because *they* would never consider it unless they had absolutely no other choice to survive. It seems incomprehensible to them (and others, I'm not trying to pick on feminists) that anyone would enjoy their work or that the industry could exist without the abuse. Me pointing out that I am an erotic photographer who does not drug or coerce my models and that my best friend was a stripper in college who enjoyed it because she made good money and loves dancing but was not raped or pawed or stolen from by her boss - these points seem to not even make my listeners blink ... as if they never even heard the words. So I will repeat myself until someone does hear me. ~Joreth <a href="http://www.theinnbetween.net" rel="nofollow">http://www.theinnbetween.net</a> <a href="http://joreth.livejournal.com" rel="nofollow">http://joreth.livejournal.com</a> I couldn’t agree with you more. I have 2 unrelated reactions to this. The first is that this is one of the reasons why I am so out about poly and bdsm and why I refuse to censor my own speech with regards to talking about my romantic life in “public” settings. I openly answer any question anyone might ask me about my sex life with casual acceptance of my own life and the assumption that the listener will also accept what I have to say. I believe this is one of the more valuable weapons in my fight for acceptance. When our society learns to accept that there are poly people and kinky people who are perfectly capable of doing their jobs and raising their children, my friends will not be forced to hide who they are and I can choose to *not* discuss things simply because it’s my choice, not my fear.

My other reaction is a reminder of several conversations I’ve had with a woman I truly enjoy talking to and being around, but she has one of the most common failings I associate with “feminism” … she disapproves of prostitution and strippers and other such sex work because of its all-too-common abuse of women in those industries. My reaction is to legalize and regulate it. I believe it’s much more difficult to abuse your employees when they have the right to unionize against you and when the government pokes their nose into your wallet to make sure you are paying your taxes and your employees fairly. But many of those who self-identify as feminists (not all, certainly) remain against the sex industry because they believe only desperately destitute women would consider it as a viable employment opportunity. Mainly because *they* would never consider it unless they had absolutely no other choice to survive. It seems incomprehensible to them (and others, I’m not trying to pick on feminists) that anyone would enjoy their work or that the industry could exist without the abuse. Me pointing out that I am an erotic photographer who does not drug or coerce my models and that my best friend was a stripper in college who enjoyed it because she made good money and loves dancing but was not raped or pawed or stolen from by her boss - these points seem to not even make my listeners blink … as if they never even heard the words.

So I will repeat myself until someone does hear me.

~Joreth
http://www.theinnbetween.net
http://joreth.livejournal.com

]]> by: Robin Lionheart http://blog.blowfish.com/culture/sexual-perspective-or-how-can-you-eat-that/580#comment-12066 Mon, 10 Mar 2008 22:25:02 +0000 http://blog.blowfish.com/culture/sexual-perspective-or-how-can-you-eat-that/580#comment-12066 A close friend of mine did not comprehend my love of broccoli. He told me how he couldn't stand the stuff. I said, you've never had really <i>good</i> broccoli. So I took him to a Chinese restaurant where I'd always found the broccoli to be fresh and delicious, and bought him some beef & broccoli. He tried it, and his eyes were opened. Now, he said, I understand. A close friend of mine did not comprehend my love of broccoli. He told me how he couldn’t stand the stuff.

I said, you’ve never had really good broccoli. So I took him to a Chinese restaurant where I’d always found the broccoli to be fresh and delicious, and bought him some beef & broccoli. He tried it, and his eyes were opened. Now, he said, I understand.

]]> by: David Harmon http://blog.blowfish.com/culture/sexual-perspective-or-how-can-you-eat-that/580#comment-12028 Mon, 10 Mar 2008 18:10:50 +0000 http://blog.blowfish.com/culture/sexual-perspective-or-how-can-you-eat-that/580#comment-12028 It's worth noting that in all three of your examples, our tastes can be heavily influenced by individual differences in our senses! We vary in our taste receptors, in our hearing, and likwise in our sensitivity to various sexual triggers, our pain thresholds, and subtler factors. It’s worth noting that in all three of your examples, our tastes can be heavily influenced by individual differences in our senses! We vary in our taste receptors, in our hearing, and likwise in our sensitivity to various sexual triggers, our pain thresholds, and subtler factors.

]]> by: Skewers http://blog.blowfish.com/culture/sexual-perspective-or-how-can-you-eat-that/580#comment-11634 Sat, 08 Mar 2008 01:24:44 +0000 http://blog.blowfish.com/culture/sexual-perspective-or-how-can-you-eat-that/580#comment-11634 People are pretty damn serious about hanging on to their stereotypes. Set effects, schemas, stereotyping -- they all "help" us make quick judgments using little information in a world where the quantity of data is simply overwhelming. And study after study shows that we will happily accept counterexample after counterexample long before we'll consider breaking down the stereotype/schema. L. People are pretty damn serious about hanging on to their stereotypes. Set effects, schemas, stereotyping — they all “help” us make quick judgments using little information in a world where the quantity of data is simply overwhelming. And study after study shows that we will happily accept counterexample after counterexample long before we’ll consider breaking down the stereotype/schema.

L.

]]> by: latexninja http://blog.blowfish.com/culture/sexual-perspective-or-how-can-you-eat-that/580#comment-11611 Fri, 07 Mar 2008 21:42:47 +0000 http://blog.blowfish.com/culture/sexual-perspective-or-how-can-you-eat-that/580#comment-11611 Ultimately, when you consider it, it makes sense. There isn't a single thing that all people do the same way, does it make sense that sex should be an exception to this rule? I think sadomasochism is the least understood in this regard. The notion that pain can be pleasurable is a very unusual one, but nonetheless true. Ultimately, when you consider it, it makes sense. There isn’t a single thing that all people do the same way, does it make sense that sex should be an exception to this rule? I think sadomasochism is the least understood in this regard. The notion that pain can be pleasurable is a very unusual one, but nonetheless true.

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