i found this sentence very interesting.

i heard somewhere once that when going somewhere, no matter where, males are more inclined to concentrate solely on the destination, while females tend to focus on the journey.

therefore, it doesn’t surprise me at all that lesbian sex could be called “the kind of sex where the journey is the destination.”

funnily enough, while reading this blog post, my gf was flicking through some porn on a few sites online, and the majority of the gay male porn videos were less than a minute long, whilst the lesbian porn was mostly at least ten minutes…

if men (regardless of orientation) were able to realise that sex does not (have to) have a “destination” it could be a lot more enjoyable. for them and their partners. and i’m sure there are a lot of women out there who could benefit from this realisation too!!

Thank you again, Greta, for writing something that so eloquently explains my own ideas on a difficult topic. I would like to use some of your words in my own journal and refer back to this article.

It’s something I really need to fight. Sometimes I end up not having an orgasm at all, because I avoid coming early, and then later on I get tired, lose my erection and can’t get it back.

One thing I noticed though was that while my first ejaculation often came rather quickly, I could still maintain my erection and continue to engage in sexual activity.

What I learned to do was to work around it. Knowing that my first ejaculation would happen very early on, I would perform oral sex on my wife while having her masturbate me. With my erection still going strong, we would then engage in intercourse, and I would last much longer than if I tried to engage in intercourse before the first ejaculation. Not only that, but when I came the second time, the sensation was so much stronger and better.

You are absolutely right. Both men and women seemed conditioned to think that as soon as a man shoots his load that it has to mean a disappointing and abrupt end to a sexual encounter. It absolutely does not have to be that way at all.

I think a lot of disappointment results of men who cant handle themself, and most of them barely recognize that their game was more or less so-so, as women unfo tend to pretend everythings allright when in fact it is not even somewhat near that. I’ve met a lot of girls in the past that broke up with their relationships after several month, because of having unfullfilling sex all the time but hoping that things somehow may improve over time. Its a myth, barely nothing improves over time.

What I try to point out is, that pressure can be very important to keep a man get to work on himself. Of cause it wont help when the mess is there and in fact worsen the situation, but if “evaluation” of ones own performance is left to a mans mind, he wont win any award for a realistic crit. Wouldn’t even been nominated.

Guess you have to even both reactions out, some well-placed pressure to get a man focussed and some laisser-faire in the right situations…