Comments on: [Greta Christina] Jealousy, Friendship, and Bisexual Chopped Liver

by: Mooser

Tue, 16 Dec 2008 21:01:03 +0000

I always wanted an open marriage relationship but did not discuss it before I got married. About a year after I got married, I got a big surprise. I cornered one of my brothers-in-law at a family dinner and asked why he and his brothers always made a “pistol hand” (index finger extended, thumb up, and the rest of the fingers clenched) at me and chuckled. After much prodding he finaaly told me what my wife had sucessfully concealed from me, that she had shot and wounded her first husband. Apparently, he did not get the can out to the curb on time, and his hastily-improvised excuse that the garbagetruck would come back for the late can provoked my future wife (who is otherwise the most placid and co-operative of helpmeets) into perforating his thigh about a quarter inch from the femoral artery, with a little pearl-handles .25 automatic (which she still treasures, oddly enough).
Anyway, you guys who have more experience with this sort of thing, what do you think is a good strategy to introduce the subject of an open marriage to my shoot-first-and-ask-questions-later wife.
Should I wait until she’s had a few glasses of Scotch, like she does most evenings before target practice?
Sorry to go on, but any help would be appreciated. I’m sure with just a little good timing my marital dreams can come true.

by: rhbee

Mon, 26 May 2008 17:24:46 +0000

Whew! If only my wife could have read this many many moons ago. It makes so much sense. And the truth for my is in the fact that my friendships tend to work intellectually first and physically second most of the time. My best friend is my wife but my second best friend is a woman I have known for 15 years and yet can never see without my wife going ballistic.

“Jeezy Creezy” is by the way one of the coolest expressions I’ve heard in a while.

by: Patience

Fri, 02 May 2008 16:22:45 +0000

Ugh, this drives me nuts. Even my best friends, who know I idenitfy as bi, call me a lesbian. It drives me up the wall. I’m friends with some extremely open people, my dad and aunt are gay. You would think that they would accept me coming out for what I say it is, but they insist on referring to me as a lesbian. If I was, I’d tell you! I have nothing to be afraid of or worried about, here! Jeezy creezy! I know it’s partially because of their age (dad, his boyfriend, and my aunt; also the non-gay parental and familial figures), and because of where we went to school (private women’s college) that thre expectation is everyone claims to be bi for a little while, then moves on to the broader pool of lesbianism. They probably think they’re just helping me along by outing me before I can do it myself. But I AM out! I’m bi and proud!

Ironically, the only person who consistently refers to me as bi is my girlfriend, who is mostly gay (I’m about a 4, she’s about a 5). And she trusts me to have platonic friendships even with people we’ve both kissed. I think it’s telling that the one person who trusts me to tell her what my sexual orientation is and takes it at face value also trusts that I can have platonic relationships with people I’m mildly attracted to.

by: Andrea

Mon, 28 Apr 2008 19:44:32 +0000

I actually had someone say I’m “not bisexual, because you’re married”. Thank you, A*hole, for telling me who I can and cannot be attracted to.

by: Polina

Sun, 27 Apr 2008 15:28:33 +0000

Oh hell yes! I have a friend who, when I first reconnected with her a few months ago (back when I was still involved with my girlfriend, but also interested in a boy as per polyamorous relationship), couldn’t get it through her head that I wasn’t a lesbian. So yes, pigeon-holing people into gender roles sucks.

by: Kitty

Sun, 27 Apr 2008 07:55:41 +0000

Amen! It had to be said…