The thing that sets sex apart is, as you said, the way we view it. Trying to learn to ride a bike (if you’ll pardon the cliche example) is a matter of persistence; eventually, most people pick it up, despite the number of falls and scarped knees. Why are we willing to climb on that two-wheeled death machine–only to be bucked off once again–over and over, yet when it comes to matters of sexuality, even getting close to trying something and not liking it is enough to swear us off the behavior? Is it because of society? Religious teachings? Is it something naturally within us already? I don’t know the answer, but I think it’s a fascinating question.

actually, this has political implications. how many angry republican haters are out there bc they didn’t try…something, twice? that first humiliating failure can be so scarring, ya know? i’ve long argued that Queer people need to have a national Love in Day with Republicans. let them get another crack at the blow jobs they want to give, the anal sex they want to have, etc., and show them that it’s not really scary and dark and painful, after all. unchecked, untutored, there’s also the fact that bad experiences can become magnified, over time. in a not healthy way, in some cases. what is just a silly moment without lube can metastasize into a lifetime of shameful, self hating practice of closeted, unhealthy sex.

anyway, nice post. yes, you’re totally right. for some people (me) you even have to give things a third try, before you figure out how much you can like something. only thing i’d add is that books are useful too. think you like something? wanna know more? read up on it first, it increases your chances at doing it well immensely.