Comments on: Are You a Sex Addict (Part 1)? http://blog.blowfish.com/culture/are-you-a-sex-addict-part-1/513 Sponsored by Blowfish: Good Products for Great Sex. Wed, 07 Jan 2009 21:22:39 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.0.7 by: Confirmed Sex Addict « extracts: absorption, distillation, expression http://blog.blowfish.com/culture/are-you-a-sex-addict-part-1/513#comment-9185 Sat, 02 Feb 2008 03:19:19 +0000 http://blog.blowfish.com/culture/are-you-a-sex-addict-part-1/513#comment-9185 [...] Greta Christina’s blog, and article (part 1 / part 2) on the same test. She also elaborates on the questions she answered Yes and shows how exactly the test pathologizes non-normative sexual behavior (and thoughts). She also looks at the test’s inability to collect any useful data. Plus, there’s quite a bit of background information. Very good stuff over there, by her and her commenters. (By the way, I only read her text when I was already done writing mine. We seem to think along the same lines.) [...] […] Greta Christina’s blog, and article (part 1 / part 2) on the same test. She also elaborates on the questions she answered Yes and shows how exactly the test pathologizes non-normative sexual behavior (and thoughts). She also looks at the test’s inability to collect any useful data. Plus, there’s quite a bit of background information. Very good stuff over there, by her and her commenters. (By the way, I only read her text when I was already done writing mine. We seem to think along the same lines.) […]

]]> by: Andrea http://blog.blowfish.com/culture/are-you-a-sex-addict-part-1/513#comment-8443 Wed, 23 Jan 2008 01:46:20 +0000 http://blog.blowfish.com/culture/are-you-a-sex-addict-part-1/513#comment-8443 I scored a 3, but was told I had a pattern common to sexually compulsive women! Just because I've been polyamorous, surfed online porn, and been involved in BDSM. Oh, and occasionally purchase erotica. Puhleeze! I think sex occupies my thoughts less than many people, but I do have a happy and healthy sex life. I may have been a bit compulsive as a teen, but since hitting 20 I've calmed a bit. 9 partners in the past 17 years. This doctor who wrote the test strikes me as very sex-negative, and against any alternative sexuality. I scored a 3, but was told I had a pattern common to sexually compulsive women! Just because I’ve been polyamorous, surfed online porn, and been involved in BDSM. Oh, and occasionally purchase erotica. Puhleeze! I think sex occupies my thoughts less than many people, but I do have a happy and healthy sex life. I may have been a bit compulsive as a teen, but since hitting 20 I’ve calmed a bit. 9 partners in the past 17 years. This doctor who wrote the test strikes me as very sex-negative, and against any alternative sexuality.

]]> by: Shannon E. Wells http://blog.blowfish.com/culture/are-you-a-sex-addict-part-1/513#comment-5811 Fri, 21 Dec 2007 21:18:52 +0000 http://blog.blowfish.com/culture/are-you-a-sex-addict-part-1/513#comment-5811 I scored an 8. Here is the text summary of my scoring: "We have compared your answers with people who have been diagnosed with sex addiction. Your answers HAVE MET a score on basis of six the criteria that indicate sex addiction is present. To help you understand, the graphic below plots your score in relation to the scores of others." As I was taking this test, I thought, this is not a test by someone who understands what it means to be an *addict.* The author of this test appears to think that anyone for whom sex is a major hobby must be an *addict,* and so anyone with a high libido and the will and means to do something about it is going to score as an addict. I also agree with you that they wrongly conflate "abnormal" sexual behavior with addictive behavior. I wonder if the author of the test has even cracked open the latest expert books on human sexuality. FYI: I took the test before reading your answers. A little background - I have a lot of queer friends, queer acquaintances and a queer close relative, and at one point I considered myself bisexual (not so much now). I have had friends who were addicts of various kinds, including food, drugs, and sex. So I am aware not only of the wide variety of sexual behavior that people can have, but I know what addiction looks like, and I think I can successfully distinguish among sex addiction, being queer, and simply being really into sex. I have never paid for sex or purchased porn. I'm not a porn consumer, but I've seen it, read it, etc. Yes, I have been stupid and stayed in relationships I shouldn't have. Yes, I have been sucked into non-relationships with people I fell for emotionally, and I was used. Yes, that caused problems for me - it made me extremely depressed and I had to seek therapy. So fucking what. It has no bearing on whether I'm addicted to anything. So basically, I'm pretty vanilla and while I've had, for most people, a lot of partners (less than 20 but way more than 10), I'm also 40 and single, and all except one of those partners were long term relationships and not fuckbuddies (that one lasted two weeks and was an experiment). If *I* scored easily within the range of possibly being a sex addict, this should tell you that this test is deeply, deeply flawed. I am addicted to coffee, not sex. I scored an 8. Here is the text summary of my scoring:

“We have compared your answers with people who have been diagnosed with sex addiction. Your answers HAVE MET a score on basis of six the criteria that indicate sex addiction is present. To help you understand, the graphic below plots your score in relation to the scores of others.”

As I was taking this test, I thought, this is not a test by someone who understands what it means to be an *addict.* The author of this test appears to think that anyone for whom sex is a major hobby must be an *addict,* and so anyone with a high libido and the will and means to do something about it is going to score as an addict. I also agree with you that they wrongly conflate “abnormal” sexual behavior with addictive behavior. I wonder if the author of the test has even cracked open the latest expert books on human sexuality.

FYI: I took the test before reading your answers. A little background - I have a lot of queer friends, queer acquaintances and a queer close relative, and at one point I considered myself bisexual (not so much now). I have had friends who were addicts of various kinds, including food, drugs, and sex. So I am aware not only of the wide variety of sexual behavior that people can have, but I know what addiction looks like, and I think I can successfully distinguish among sex addiction, being queer, and simply being really into sex.

I have never paid for sex or purchased porn. I’m not a porn consumer, but I’ve seen it, read it, etc. Yes, I have been stupid and stayed in relationships I shouldn’t have. Yes, I have been sucked into non-relationships with people I fell for emotionally, and I was used. Yes, that caused problems for me - it made me extremely depressed and I had to seek therapy. So fucking what. It has no bearing on whether I’m addicted to anything. So basically, I’m pretty vanilla and while I’ve had, for most people, a lot of partners (less than 20 but way more than 10), I’m also 40 and single, and all except one of those partners were long term relationships and not fuckbuddies (that one lasted two weeks and was an experiment). If *I* scored easily within the range of possibly being a sex addict, this should tell you that this test is deeply, deeply flawed. I am addicted to coffee, not sex.

]]> by: David Harmon http://blog.blowfish.com/culture/are-you-a-sex-addict-part-1/513#comment-5122 Sun, 16 Dec 2007 18:08:36 +0000 http://blog.blowfish.com/culture/are-you-a-sex-addict-part-1/513#comment-5122 Bob: In both East and West, romantic love has always been viewed as something "chaotic", hazardous to public order. Consider Pyramus and Thisbe (later Romeo and Juliet), Tristan and Isolde, and so on. Even Tevye's daughters in "Fiddler on the Roof" represent the same theme. The difference is that the West is <b>somewhat</b> more willing to yield on the point -- for example, I can't think of a classical Western myth where a father killed his child rather than let them marry "improperly". For that, you need the (originally) Eastern theme that "the other world is more important than this one", which was the poison that corrupted Christianity. Bob: In both East and West, romantic love has always been viewed as something “chaotic”, hazardous to public order. Consider Pyramus and Thisbe (later Romeo and Juliet), Tristan and Isolde, and so on. Even Tevye’s daughters in “Fiddler on the Roof” represent the same theme. The difference is that the West is somewhat more willing to yield on the point — for example, I can’t think of a classical Western myth where a father killed his child rather than let them marry “improperly”. For that, you need the (originally) Eastern theme that “the other world is more important than this one”, which was the poison that corrupted Christianity.

]]> by: Bob Kowalski http://blog.blowfish.com/culture/are-you-a-sex-addict-part-1/513#comment-4942 Sat, 15 Dec 2007 04:36:00 +0000 http://blog.blowfish.com/culture/are-you-a-sex-addict-part-1/513#comment-4942 Greta, I had another thought. The test presumes that in a conflict of opinion about my sexual preferences between myself and persons in my immediate environment -- family, friends, parents, etc. -- that the "other" is always right and that I am always wrong. If <i><b>they</b></i> are always right to be shocked & dismayed at my sexual preferences & activities, then I am always wrong to get off however it is that I get off. What this means is that sex, sexuality, sexual desire & the like are a diminution of my autonomy and freedom. In the context of that test, sexual desire can never be a means to empowerment and liberation. But consider the phenomenon of falling in love. It is a staple of romantic comedies that possession of one's beloved (= establishing a 'relationship') is the quintessence of asserting one's individuality. The question of fulfillment brings a difficult question: is it the desire itself that brings the realization of individuality OR is it the type of romantic love object that brings fulfillment independent of motivating desire? A hint: We Westerners who invented romantic love do not practice arranged marriage. Once sexuality is wedded to autonomy and individuality, it really is hard not to snicker at tests like the one you discuss. Or in more serious moods to be really offended at the naive hatred of sensuality that created such a travesty of psychological testing. Greta,

I had another thought. The test presumes that in a conflict of opinion about my sexual preferences between myself and persons in my immediate environment — family, friends, parents, etc. — that the “other” is always right and that I am always wrong. If they are always right to be shocked & dismayed at my sexual preferences & activities, then I am always wrong to get off however it is that I get off.

What this means is that sex, sexuality, sexual desire & the like are a diminution of my autonomy and freedom. In the context of that test, sexual desire can never be a means to empowerment and liberation.

But consider the phenomenon of falling in love. It is a staple of romantic comedies that possession of one’s beloved (= establishing a ‘relationship’) is the quintessence of asserting one’s individuality. The question of fulfillment brings a difficult question: is it the desire itself that brings the realization of individuality OR is it the type of romantic love object that brings fulfillment independent of motivating desire? A hint: We Westerners who invented romantic love do not practice arranged marriage.

Once sexuality is wedded to autonomy and individuality, it really is hard not to snicker at tests like the one you discuss. Or in more serious moods to be really offended at the naive hatred of sensuality that created such a travesty of psychological testing.

]]> by: Bob Kowalski http://blog.blowfish.com/culture/are-you-a-sex-addict-part-1/513#comment-4914 Fri, 14 Dec 2007 21:43:33 +0000 http://blog.blowfish.com/culture/are-you-a-sex-addict-part-1/513#comment-4914 Greta, Nice read. I took the test. Scored a "9." A 9? An observation to back up the whackiness of this test: there is no option to evaluate why other people are shocked & dismayed by one's sexual behavior. Maybe, just maybe they have have issues? It would seem that the test is biased to find the test-taker to be a sex-addict. I might be wrong, but I don't think sex-addiction is listed in the DSM-V. bob Greta,

Nice read. I took the test. Scored a “9.” A 9? An observation to back up the whackiness of this test: there is no option to evaluate why other people are shocked & dismayed by one’s sexual behavior. Maybe, just maybe they have have issues? It would seem that the test is biased to find the test-taker to be a sex-addict. I might be wrong, but I don’t think sex-addiction is listed in the DSM-V.

bob

]]> by: Are You A Sex Addict (Part 2)? | Blowfish Blog http://blog.blowfish.com/culture/are-you-a-sex-addict-part-1/513#comment-4825 Thu, 13 Dec 2007 18:45:37 +0000 http://blog.blowfish.com/culture/are-you-a-sex-addict-part-1/513#comment-4825 [...] Are You A Sex Addict (Part 2)? In last week’s column, we were discussing this Sexual Addiction Screening Test created by Dr. Patrick Carnes, inventor of the term “sex addiction.” We saw a noticeable pattern in this test: the pathologization of unconventional sex; the pathologization of sex that other people are shocked or upset by — regardless of whether they have any right to be; and the pathologization of people who make sex a high priority in their lives. (Thanks to Dr. Marty Klein’s Sexual Intelligence blog for the tip). Today we continue going through the test, looking at all the questions that a sexually healthy person might answer “Yes” to . . . and examining what exactly is troubling about this test and the model of sexual dysfunction it represents. [...] […] Are You A Sex Addict (Part 2)? In last week’s column, we were discussing this Sexual Addiction Screening Test created by Dr. Patrick Carnes, inventor of the term “sex addiction.” We saw a noticeable pattern in this test: the pathologization of unconventional sex; the pathologization of sex that other people are shocked or upset by — regardless of whether they have any right to be; and the pathologization of people who make sex a high priority in their lives. (Thanks to Dr. Marty Klein’s Sexual Intelligence blog for the tip). Today we continue going through the test, looking at all the questions that a sexually healthy person might answer “Yes” to . . . and examining what exactly is troubling about this test and the model of sexual dysfunction it represents. […]

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