The Blowfish Blog

Pottermania

Last weekend saw publication of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, the seventh and final volume in J.K. Rowling’s incredibly popular fantasy series about a boy wizard with a destiny. Thousands of fans took part in midnight release parties at bookstores, and countless of my own friends and acquaintances spent the weekend furiously reading. Now, while I’ve never been swept up by the Potter craze — they’re fine, but I get much more excited about the prospect of another George R.R. Martin novel, if you want the truth — it thrills me to see people getting so excited about reading. And, as we know, when fans really love characters, they write fan fiction about them. And they draw pictures of the characters. Sometimes it’s dirty, smutty fan fiction. Sometimes they’re dirty, smutty pictures. And so, in honor of young master Potter’s final adventure . . .

First, a vintage article from the San Francisco Chronicle, from way back in 2001: “The Trouble with Harry”, all about the mere shocking existence of Potter slash, complete with excerpts from a story about Harry hooking up with arch-nemesis Draco Malfoy: “His hands moved up to hold Harry’s startled face, and in the space of a next heartbeat he was kissing Harry, hard and full on the lips, his manner deeply passionate, hopelessly desperate. What just happened? He knew bloody well what just happened. He just kissed Harry Potter, that’s what happened. The thought of it made him nauseated, even though at the very same time an entrenched part of him yearned for the perverse, forbidden pleasure of it all over again.” Well, sure. There’s a whole Draco/Harry fanfic website at The Hex Files.

J.K. Rowling isn’t one of those authors who looks the other way when it comes to fan fiction — at least, not the dirty smutty kind. Here’s a cease and desist letter her lawyers sent to hundreds of sites that hosted such fan fiction: “There is plainly a very real risk that impressionable children, who of course comprise the principal readership of the Harry Potter books, will be directed (e.g. by a search engine result) to your sexually explicit website.” Well, okay, there’s some truth to that, though most of the explicit stuff is clearly marked as such, and lots of grown-ups read those books, too, or else they wouldn’t be the bestselling novels in the history of the literate universe. And what are the fans supposed to do? If Rowling won’t write a scene of a werewolf having sex with a house elf, somebody has to!

With words, you gotta make the dirty pictures in your mind. Too much work. Here’s some truly hardcore Potter fan art. Featuring Harry Potter buggering, or being buggered, or orally serviced by his teachers, or in cock bondage. (C’mon, the series is set at a British boarding school. This kind of stuff is inevitable.) There’s also some He-Man smut fan art on that site, which I find much more disturbing. I mean, that’s from my childhood!

Moving on to the world of the Harry Potter movies (the, what, fifth movie? came out recently, so it’s topical!), you’ve probably already seen the images of Daniel Radcliffe, who plays Harry, in the play Equus. But, hey, they’re worth peeking at again. Radcliffe’s choice to play the role caused quite a stir, of course, because there’s a nude scene. Check out some choice shots here. The images are big, and, if not fully frontally nude, they at least give you a nice shot of Harry’s hairy happy trail. Let’s hope kids searching for their favorite kiddie movie star don’t do a websearch and find those images! Where’s the cease-and-desist letter for that?

Radcliffe’s co-star, Emma Watson, who plays Hermione Granger, is growing up into a beautiful young lady. She’s not growing up quite fast enough for some people, though, as some ad guy infamously photoshopped her boobs to make her rack more impressive in an ad. (It was an ad for the 3D IMAX version of the movie. We’ll leave the “bigger boobs” plus “3D” jokes as an exercise for the reader.) There is also, disturbingly, a website counting down the days until Emma Watson turns 18. Yeah. Only kids are interested in this Harry Potter stuff, right?

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This entry was posted on Wednesday, 25 July 2007 at 2:03 pm and is filed under Caught in the Net. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.