Geek Love
Look, don’t take this the wrong way. I mean, I’m a geek. For [insert deity here]’s sake, I write science fiction for a living! Well, mostly fantasy, but occasionally SF, and I run in science fiction circles. (Heck, as a published SF author, I’m at the top of the geek hierarchy!) So understand I mean no insult when I say: there’s a lot of damn geeky porn out there. For instance:
The Klingon Sex Manual. Everybody’s favorite warlike bumpy-headed aliens need lovin’ too, after all. It’s fan fiction about the perils of interspecies sex, but it also includes a practical guide, with advice like “To the Klingon, battle and lovemaking have much in common. No Klingon life is complete without both experiences, and they invest themselves fully in those experiences. A Klingon is not shy about expressing either desire or pleasure.” It goes on from there. As you might imagine, lots of biting is involved. I also appreciated the disclaimer: “Klingon sexual practices may be potentially dangerous to humans.” Such advice is more precious than gold.
Vue Weekly recently had an article on the ubiquitous sexual elements in modern video games, and how weshouldn’t take them for granted; we children of the ’80s remember a time, after all, when the closest thing to sexy you could find in a video game was the end of Metroid when alien ass-kicker Samus stripped down and revealed herself to be a woman. Then along came Tomb Raider’s Lara Croft, and eventually the likes of Bloodrayne . . . and, well, I could do a whole column on video game cheesecake, and maybe someday I will.
Speaking of games, the most highly-anticipated game this year was probably Halo 3, and while you wouldn’t think there’d be a lot of sexy in a game where the human characters wear elaborate full-body armor and the aliens are mostly non-humanoid, you’d be somewhat wrong. Granted, the sexy isn’t in the game itself, but you can follow that link for a glimpse of online auctions of Halo 3 where hot babes sexed up the merchandise with a little judicious semi-nudity. Bless the free market!
Finally, no discussion of geeks and sex would be complete without mentioning the ever-popular geek pastime of masturbation. Take this quiz to test your masturbation IQ. Do you know what The Stranger is? Do you know what “edging” is? Answer well, and prove yourself a master masturbator!
This entry was posted on Wednesday, 17 October 2007 at 12:00 am and is filed under Caught in the Net. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
on Sunday, 21 October 2007 at 7:16 pm Steve wrote:
Is it just me, or did every hetero male reading this post stop and say, “Wow!” when that photograph came up? Let’s just say, I wasn’t thinking of my Xbox 360. Those are beautiful!
No wonder sex sells.