The Blowfish Blog

Caught in the Net: Vikings in Stilettos

Alexander Pope said that the proper study of man is man, and science does often tend to turn inward to human concerns. And, since humans are obsessed with the intersection of their genitals with the genitals of other humans, those studies often involve sex.

Sometimes the studies aren’t even directly about sex, but sex creeps in there anyway. Take, for instance, an anthropological study that suggests Viking Women Dressed Provocatively, in “imported colored-silk gowns adorned with metallic breast coverings and long trains.” Until now, it was believed that Viking women wore an apron and sweater over a linen robe, which hardly seems like the sort of thing to stir a berserker’s lust. New evidence suggests that “woman’s dress consisted of a single piece of fabric with an opening in the front. A pair of brooches, or clasps, was situated on top of the breasts to accentuate the wearer’s figure.” At least, that was the deal before the Christians came along — after that, the style was decidedly Convent Chic.

It’s unlikely that Viking women wore high heels, since they weren’t invented until the 15th century, and more’s the pity; there’s evidence that wearing heels can improve a woman’s sex life! (We already knew that women in heels could improve a guy’s sex life.) Besides destroying a woman’s joints and causing the occasional stress fracture, wearing heels “directly work the pleasure muscles which are linked to an orgasm” . . .. or so says Dr. Von Shoefetish. (Kidding. His name is Dr. Cerruto, which is a lot less funny.)

Speaking of orgasms (great transition, huh?), there are some really interesting studies being done regarding the Science of the Orgasm. Combine high-tech imaging equipment with sexual excitement, and discover what knowledgeable sex experts have been saying forever: the brain is the most potent sexual organ of all. Soon science may be able to discover the source of odd things like “‘orgasmic auras’ that can descend at the onset of epileptic seizures — sensations so pleasurable they prompt some patients to refuse antiseizure medication” or “the case of the amputee who felt his orgasms centered in that missing foot.” So if you “suffer” from such conditions, don’t worry, there’s hope!

I’ve got more links regarding the proper study of man, so tune in next week for more scientific goodness, including the limits of sexual attraction, how to regain the old spark, and, um, stories about gorillas fucking each other and a dude who fucked a pig. For science. (Well, not really, but science found a use for him afterward.)

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This entry was posted on Wednesday, 19 March 2008 at 12:00 pm and is filed under Caught in the Net. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.