The Blowfish Blog

Caught in the Net: Two Heads are Better Than One

Last week, in a list of sometimes dubious “sex facts” we encountered the following interesting tidbit: “In 1609, a doctor named Wecker found a corpse in Bologna with two penises. Since then, there have been eighty documented cases of men similarly endowed.”

Could this be true? We know that some marsupials have double-headed penises — c’mon, everybody knows that! — and their female counterparts have double-barreled vaginas. But such a condition in humans would be a very unusual congenital deformity, and a true biphallic condition, with two fully-developed penises, would be an incredibly unlikely physical development. But . . . but imagine! Having two working penises! The possibilities boggle the mind!

Though they don’t boggle everyone’s mind. Sex Tutor kindly provides a guide to Double Cock Sex Techniques. We — foolishly! — expected to find a guide to male-male-female menage-a-trois techniques. But no! These are suggestions, complete with anime-style illustrations, designed for the man with two cocks. The tone of the article is amusingly tongue-in-cheek, assuming that men with two cocks aren’t all that uncommon. The suggestions are pretty much what you’d expect — one-man double penetration, the unspeakable joy of two women giving you oral sex at once, and so on. The “Avoiding Pitfalls” section is the funniest, though, offering eminently reasonable advice, like: “Don’t compete with yourself. Is one cock longer than the other? Does one shoot farther? So what? Don’t fall into the trap of comparing your boys. Consider them a team.” And “Don’t let it go to your head(s). Not all guys have the advantage of having two cocks, so try to be gracious about your double endowment. While having two dicks can be challenging, don’t expect a lot of sympathy for your condition. It’s a problem most guys can only wish they had.”

Illustrations are all well and good, but we here at Caught in the Net believe in digging deep for detailed information, which led to a lot of awkwardly-worded Google searches. (The word “Biphallic” doesn’t turn up as many useful hits as you’d expect, though we had better luck with the more scientifically correct “Diphallic”.) We did manage to find some photos on the Moonbuggy sex blog of a woman servicing a man with two penises, and you can see them here in all their graphic splendor: http://tinyurl.com/ywwveq. We don’t know where the photos came from, or whether they’re real, but if they’re fake, they’re good fakes. And if they’re real, why isn’t that dude appearing in every other porn movie released these days? Gonzo filmmakers would love him!

We also found a rather sad news story about a German man who, after losing his original penis in a motorcycle accident, wound up briefly with not one but two surgically-created penises on his body. (It was a series of medical misadventures for the unfortunate man.) Upon seeing him with both penises, his wife promptly packed her bags and left, leaving him with two cocks and no wife, which is a cruel irony if there ever was one.

Another news story last year told the tale of a 24-year-old Indian man with two penises who chose to have one removed so he could have a normal sex life. He was that incredibly rare case of a man with two fully-functioning penises — usually in cases of diphallia at least one of the penises is vestigial and doesn’t function — and while it’s easy for us to say he should have gone out and enjoyed his unique endowment, you shouldn’t judge a man until you’ve walked a mile in his ill-fitting underpants, right?

For those of you who are interested in, you know, real information and facts, you might as well start with the Wikipedia article on Diphallia.

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This entry was posted on Wednesday, 7 March 2007 at 4:35 pm and is filed under Caught in the Net. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.