The Blowfish Blog

[Caught in the Net] The Beholder

I’ve had a few things in my bookmarks folder that I wasn’t exactly sure how to classify. They weren’t porn per se, but they definitely had elements that made me suspect they’d be titillating if viewed by the right set of eyes — erotic content being in the eye of the beholder, as it were.

Science fiction writer Charles Stross wrote a journal entry called “Rule 34″ that helped crystallize the notion in my mind. (Rule 34, for short-time readers, is “If it exists, there is porn of it.”) While reading about a guy who writes (parody) stories about Roy Orbison being mummified in Saran wrap, Charlie postulated “a rule 34.1: Anything on the internet can be construed as filth, by a mind that’s sufficiently warped.”

I’ve found this to be the case. Many sort-of-weird stories online are slanted with a, “This is sure to appeal to {fill in the blank} fetishists.” Like this pretty awesome high-speed video footage of people sneezing in ultra-slow motion. It’s a public service announcement about not spreading germs, but it must be delicious drawn-out erotica to the sneeze-fetish crowd. (Doubt the existence of such a crowd? I’ve documented them before, but here’s a link to some sneeze porn video favorites.)

Japan is usually the go-to country for weird and vaguely sexualized theme restaurants, but let us turn our attention now to Latvia, home of a hospital-themed restaurant where you can be served food on operating room containers by waitresses in nurse uniforms (with appropriately short skirts) while sitting in booths made of converted hospital beds. It’s either odd, creepy, or titillating, depending on your predilections.

What could be more innocent than the Muppets, beloved icons of puppetry and childhood amusement? Well, to be honest, the Muppets always worked on a couple of levels, making jokes the kids might miss but that adults could laugh at. Still, Jim Henson never did a burlesque version of The Muppet Show; we had to wait for some good people in Los Angeles to come up with that one. Miss Piggy was halfway to burlesque anyway, but to transform Fozzie Bear, Rizzo the rat, and of course the great Gonzo into burlesque figures requires some creative genius; it sounds like a hell of a show, and, of course, it’s an erotic smorgasbord for all those people with deep-seated Swedish Chef fantasies.

Go forth and enjoy the world, my friends, and remember: smut is where you find it.

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This entry was posted on Wednesday, 27 May 2009 at 11:37 am and is filed under Caught in the Net. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.