The Blowfish Blog

[Caught in the Net] Something Old

I remember, in my middle-school youth, considering some cache of mildewed Playboys discovered in the crawlspace of an abandoned house (yes, I played in the crawlspaces of abandoned houses; I couldn’t play Nintendo all the time) and having the sudden realization that most of the women in said nudie magazine were in reality much older, in real time, than the frozen images of themselves that appeared in those smelly pages. I spent some time struggling with the psychological ramifications of that fact. I wonder, did the businessman who reputedly purchased a hardcore Marilyn Monroe blowjob film for $1.5 million have any similar moments of cognitive dissonance as he watched it for the first time? Did he think, “Dude, this woman I’m currently spanking it to is this very moment dead?”

Perhaps not. Sadly, those of us lacking the right combination of Marilyn Monroe obsession and deep pockets may never see the sex film (unless it gets digitized and put up on YouTube at some point). We can, however, see another sex movie that may or may not star Marilyn Monroe, the infamous “blue movie” of uncertain provenance. I remember seeing stills from that in some ancient issue of Playboy during my misspent youth, too, now that you mention it. No double anal piledriver reverse cowgirl there though. Ah, porn from a simpler time.

If you want vintage rock star celebrity fucking, you might consider the Jimi Hendrix Sex Tape, obtained and released on DVD by Vivid. You gotta shell out some cash if you want to see grainy footage of the man’s famous wang, which I have not bothered to do, but I’m sure it’s quite an experience. (Get it? Jimi Hendrix? Experience? No?)

Less explicit, but no less fabulous, is this Flickr set dubbed Hammer’s House of Hotness, featuring the gorgeous ladies of the old Hammer horror films. So many women who were fictionally murdered by fictional monsters!

And, continuing the slide from iconic to anonymous (though equally vintage), another Flickr set — this one of strippers posing for Polaroids. Some are explicit, some are not, some are cute, some are sad, all are a slice of forgotten and seedy Americana.

And kids today think they invented sex . . .

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This entry was posted on Wednesday, 7 May 2008 at 12:00 am and is filed under Caught in the Net. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.