The Blowfish Blog

[Caught in the Net] Simple Machines

Since humankind first learned how to shape wood, stone, and ore into tools, people have attempted to create sex toys out of those objects. (I’m assuming. There’s some evidence that the earliest dildos were created in the Neolithic era, more than 12,000 years ago, and ancient Chinese dildos that were also works of art have been found in tombs . . . though in a pinch our ancestors weren’t averse to using, say, a handy unripe banana.) These days sex toys are far more sophisticated, and some are complex enough to be called sex machines. (Or, as Wikipedia oddly calls them, “Automated Erotic Stimulation Devices”, perhaps so they won’t be confused with the late James Brown, who frequently declared himself a Sex Machine.)

Any discussion of sex machines needs must begin with FuckingMachines.com, the high-quality site from Kink.com specializing in hot girls and cold steel. Most of the machines are essentially a motor driving pistons that thrust big fake cocks in and out, though there are variations. It’s hard to definitively say what makes such devices appealing — for women, is it a guy who never, ever prematurely ejaculates or can’t get hard? For kinky-minded guys, is it the idea of seeing a woman fucked relentlessly by something incapable of showing mercy and restraint? Is it something inherently fetishistic about the smell of engine oil and the whine of a motor? As long as everyone’s having a good time — except, of course, the machines, though someday we may have machines that like fucking, science be praised — who cares?

The state-of-the-art for sex machines is always changing, and many of the innovators in the field will be at Arse Elektronika 2008, the conference devoted to the intersection of sex and technology, to be held in San Francisco at the end of this month. They’ve got a pretty diverse range of participants, from theorists to practitioners, and it’ll be interesting to see what comes out of the conference this year. (Some sort of giant robotic love god stomping through the streets of the city zapping people with aphrodisiac rays, one hopes.)

But will technology ever catch up to man’s wildest dreams? Like, for instance, those of Dreams in Pink, the website devoted to Transformers yaoi — that is, boy/boy erotic comics. Yes, it’s an entire website dedicated to (actually quite funny) tales of Transformers slash, with the shapeshifting robots of TV, toy, and feature film fame shagging one another. It does not appear that any of the robots in disguise in question transform into dildos, fucking machines, or large vibrating eggs, but you should have to use your imagination for something.

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This entry was posted on Wednesday, 10 September 2008 at 11:41 am and is filed under Caught in the Net. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.