The Blowfish Blog

Caught in the Net: Happy Holidays

We just realized that we haven’t talked much about holidays here at Caught in the Net, though we certainly like red-and-white Valentine’s day lingerie, and women full of Christmas cheer wearing nothing but Santa hats, and sexy witches and nurses and such at Hallowe’en, and Mardi Gras flashers, and people putting “Kiss Me I’m Irish” stickers on inappropriate parts of their anatomy on St. Paddy’s day. So, to redress those holiday oversights, we’re here to mention a few of the lesser-known sexual holidays . . .

First and foremost, of course, there’s Steak and Blowjob Day, the man’s answer to Valentine’s day. The official website lays out the argument pretty well: Straight men work hard to make Valentine’s Day special for their loved ones, providing flowers, candy, nice meals, jewelry, and so on. The dirty little secret? “Guys feel left out. That’s right, there’s no special holiday for the ladies to show their appreciation for the men in their life. Men as a whole are either too proud or too embarrassed to admit it. Which is why a new holiday has been created.” On March 14, then — a month after St. Valentine’s day — women are encouraged to show their love with steak and blowjobs. No agonizing over what gift to buy, because it’s all right there in the title. There’s a certain crass simplicity to it that you have to admire.

Naturally some women have declared a need for National Cunnilingus Day in response, because candy and flowers are all very nice, but oral sex is better. A quick Google search turns up assorted declarations naming January 31, February 9, and November 21, variously, as National Cunnilingus Day. Congress has inexplicably failed to weigh in with an official decision, so feel free to celebrate them all! On a Consumating.com message board, a user named Xeni rather ingeniously advocated the creation of “Sushi and Cunnilingus Day.”

Then there’s March 3, National Threesome Observance Day. Not technically a day to have threesomes, apparently, but a day to recognize and appreciate and honor the three-way, the sex act with the fewest number of people involved that can still be called an “orgy” with a straight face. First invented in a press release to promote a book about threesomes, it’s taken on a life of its own, which just goes to show, even PR stunts can become serious things — if you build it, they will come. You can read the original press release here.

December 15 is National Make-Out Day, according to, well, a MySpace chain letter . . . hey, any excuse to make out, right? Yes, we know these holidays are getting a bit tenuous now. The text of the letter can be found here. See, we managed to avoid making you go to a MySpace page! You’re welcome!

More seriously, May is National Masturbation Month, set aside for all manner of muffin-fluffin’ and meat-beatin’ events, the most prominent of which is sponsored by the (very excellent) Center for Sex and Culture in San Francisco. Details on this year’s event — yes, it’s a Masturbate-A-Thon, on May 26 — can be found at Masturbate-A-Thon.com (there’s not much there yet, but stay tuned). Info about other Masturbate-A-Thons can be found at Wikipedia, seat of all knowledge. Maybe there’s one where you live!

Our diligent efforts (well, all right, a few late-night web searches) failed to turn up any genuine, organized attempts at a National Anal Sex Day or a National Orgy Day or a National Erotic Spanking Day, so there’s still plenty of holiday territory out there to be claimed. Want to start your own holiday? Start calling your friends and sending out press releases! Just make sure we get the day off work.

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This entry was posted on Wednesday, 28 March 2007 at 6:30 pm and is filed under Caught in the Net. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.