Caught in the Net: Bestest
It’s a new year. The end of one year and the beginning of another always bring a spate of “best of” lists — best movies, best books, best people, best everything. Why should Caught in the Net be any different? Except I’m much more meta: I’ll be linking to other people’s lists instead of compiling my own.
The 2007 Feminist Porn Awards were announced a while back, and one can do worse than to heed their wise counsel. After all, they award “Hottest Trans Sex Scene” to our own Shine Louise Houston’s film In Search of the Wild Kingdom, and “Hottest Dyke Sex Scene” to her Superfreak! They also give due props to Simone Valentino as Best New Star, which jibes with my own opinions, and heap plaudits upon other films I find worthy.
Film Threat compiled The Fifty Best Breasts in Movie History way back in October (in recognition of National Breast Cancer Awareness Month, they say). This isn’t the Best Boobs of 2007 or anything, but a Best of List is a Best of List, and any such ranking that gives proper attention to Mae West is worth supporting. There are video clips for each star, of course, so you can make up your own mind.
Sex blogger extraordinaire Violet Blue put together The Top 10 Sex Memes of 2007, from straight-to-DVD celebrity sex tapes to embarrassingly-outed Republican politicians to a particular repulsive poo-porn clip I won’t even name here (click through and read about it if you want to know, but even Violet begs you not to google it). It’s like a wonderful terrible walk down memory lane, information superhighway style.
Recognition of the best implies the existence of the worst, and so I feel compelled to point to a couple of “Worst Of” lists: The Top 10 Worst Nude Scenes Ever, as chosen by Empire magazine. Sacha Baron Cohen and Ken Davitian’s naked wrestling match from Borat came in at #1, and it’s difficult to argue with that ranking, though it’s a bit disappointing that “Female Duck” from Howard the Duck made the list at all, even at #10 — there are far more hideous bodies on display in film. Nude anthropomorphic ducks don’t even bear a mention.
Cracked.com put together a list of the Ten Creepiest Craigslist Casual Encounters, which includes things like “Submissive bottom here looking for one or more aggressive guys to come by late tonight or early morning. I’m staying at the Bensalem Hampton Inn. Room door will be unlocked and I’ll be asleep. Just walk in, drop your shorts and bury your dick in my jock-strapped ass. Safe play only!” It’s difficult to imagine that turning out well. And that’s only #10 on the list! Read the rest to learn more about human sexuality and psychology than you ever wished to know.
Happy New Year, dear readers. I hope you enjoy your black-eyed peas and get through your hangovers with minimal pain!
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