The Blowfish Blog

[Videos] Delectable Desires

Delectable Desires is female- and couples-friendly porn from Playgirl, with the expected emphasis on romance, adventure, and buff men servicing gorgeous women. It even includes a couple of performers I’m much more used to seeing in alt-porn or even BDSM contexts, notably blonde hipster goddess Charlotte Stokeley and dark-haired dark-eyed Sandra Romain (who I’m used to seeing in high-heeled black boots and leather corsets, occasionally with a flogger in hand). They bring an edgy energy to their scenes, while still exploring their softer, more romantic sides.

Some of the fantasies here are a bit more complex and outlandish than the usual attentive-new-lover casual-sex fare. Charlotte Stokeley meets a handsome doctor who gives her a more-thorough-than-usual examination, and it’s presented in a fun style, mimicking the feel of an old instructional video from health class. The “bossy drill sergeant” routine from Tina Tyler and raw recruit Damien is fun, though baggy camo fatigues aren’t the sexiest attire — once she strips down a bit, it’s a much hotter scene. Marco Banderas has a good turn as a Spanish teacher with a very dedicated student in blonde Brooke Banner, who is exceedingly interested in foreign tongues.

Sandra Romain has a pair of great scenes, first in “Back Light” with Mario Rossi, where she plays a performance artist doing a show that involves glow-in-the-dark sex toys and glowing paint — she and Rossi get thoroughly splattered with paint and, eventually, other things, and it’s a visually-stunning scene. She returns in “Heavy Weight,” a gym scene with Manuel Ferrara, that starts with heavy petting against a heavy bag and moves on to athletic fucking all over a whole suite of exercise equipment. It’s a hot and hard workout.

There’s another boxing scene in “The Contender,” with the impressively built Mr. Marcus celebrating victory with the incredibly yummy Marie Luv; their bodies work beautifully together, and in terms of sheer chemistry, it’s probably the hottest scene here.

Every scene — and there are seven, not counting a couple of bonus scenes and additional beefcake featurettes — is solid, and there’s a lot of good replay value. Delectable Desires should add a delicious spice to a couple’s quiet evening, or a ladies’ night.

• Delectable Desires

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[Videos] Nympho, Volume 1

Michael Ninn was the god of stylishly nasty porn, as epitomized in his Neo Pornographia series. Ninn’s directorial prot.g. Chris Cross (not to be confused with ’90s hip-hop duo Kris Kross!) took up the glossy hardcore torch to create Nympho, Volume 1, a gorgeous, edgy, over-the-top extravaganza of posing and pounding.

Aloof, sunglasses-wearing Otto Bauer is the director’s proxy on screen, putting the performers through their paces. He has sweet brunette Alicia Angel display her ass, bending over and fingering her cunt and asshole for the camera, before putting her on her knees to service Sascha’s cock. Otto gives orders while Alicia gets her ass fucked in a beautiful reverse cowgirl, her gorgeous shaved cunt open and on display, then she switches from ass-pounding to deep-throating and back again. (The bit where he makes her crawl around and bark like a dog and howl during anal doggystyle is a trifle silly, but one can appreciate the dominant sentiment.)

Nikki Nievez and Roxy Jezel do some music-video-style poledancing for Otto, who instructs them to put cold glass and metal toys in their hot wet holes before pitting them against one another to see which one is the biggest cock-loving whore. Despite their claims that they like having all their orifices filled simultaneously, they only get one man to work on, alas. But first they work on each other with toys and fingers and tongues and lots of filthy talk. Alex Sanders appears to fuck their mouths and their asses in assorted sequences — he even fucks one asshole while licking the other (in a couple of different positions, no less), and there’s lots of ATM and messy cumswapping at the end.

The final scene has Kelly Wells in slutty lingerie and tottering high heels, and Otto Bauer finally stops just shouting orders and starts taking liberties, with some small assistance from Alec Knight at crucial moments. There’s double anal, with a toy shoved in her ass along with a cock (and she sucks both at once, too.) This is a simple, beautifully-made production, with gorgeous women doing incredibly filthy things. It’s nymphomagical.

• Nympho, Volume 1

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[Videos] Smokin’ Hot Blondes #1

Spyder Jonez is the nom de porn of Evan Seinfeld, a rock star from Biohazard and husband of legendary pornstar Tera Patrick. The fact that Spyder is actually Evan has never exactly been a secret — he’s a distinctive-looking bald guy covered in tattoos, and is unlikely to be mistaken for anyone else — but in Smokin’ Hot Blondes #1 he’s actually credited this way: “Evan Seinfeld as Spyder Jonez.” Which seems a bit redundant, but a guy who rocks and fucks as hard as he does can call himself whatever he wants. Though one idly wonders how his brunette wife Tera feels about him directing a series about fucking hot blondes . . . he does amusingly call Teagan Presley the hottest woman in the business today — “next to my wife.” Smart man!

This flick is gonzo rockstar fucking extraordinaire, with footage from Jonez’s website RockStarPimp.com. Biohazard even provides a lot of the music. Of course, rockstars fucking pornstars is hardly a new phenomenon, but seeing it on film is a novelty. It’s no-frills hardcore fucking with rock and roll style; Teagan even appears in a studded leather skirt and bustier in honor of Jonez. His years of fucking groupies and performing on stage pay off, and he uses Teagan hard until she’s covered in sweat and begs him to go easy on her — for a woman of Teagan’s experience, that implies some serious fucking.

Spyder also bangs 21-year-old Britney Amber of the Bunny Ranch, and adorable newcomer Lexi Belle, and former all-star cheerleader Madison Scott, and punky bleached blonde Jade Jolie (the only one of the bunch to have some punk rock style, and who likes clothespins clipped to her nipples). Spyder pounds them all thoroughly, and cums on their faces. It really is good to be a rockstar.

One complaint: the frequent flashing of the RockStarPimp.com logo, and the cum-spattered girls pimping the site in their final moments on screen, is all a bit annoying — I’m watching it already, aren’t I? I don’t need the hardsell. But Spyder does deliver the goods, so I’ll forgive him.

• Smokin’ Hot Blondes #1

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[Videos] Girls Lusting Girls

Girls Lusting Girls is lesbian porn from AbbyWinters.com. Shouldn’t that be Girls Lusting After Girls? Is this an Australian idiomatic phrase I’m not familiar with? Or? The DVD has two long girl-girl scenes, both set in bathrooms, both featuring women who look like real women (they’re attractive, but not plastic-surgery-enhanced pneumatic pleasure dolls), and all parties involved appear genuinely interested in fucking their fellow performers, which is nice.

One scene has pale, busty redhead Chloe and dark-haired, somewhat butcher Fae making out in a nightclub bathroom. (It looks more hygienic than you’d expect.) They take turns kneeling on hard tile and licking snatch before retreating to the privacy of a narrow bathroom stall and doing some acrobatic posing using the toilet and the toilet paper dispenser and the sides of the stall. Eventually they move on to the sink, which has the added advantage of a mirror, the better to see all the rimming and anal fingering and digital DP going on. They don’t always look entirely comfortable, but they do look like they’re having a good time, and after all, some discomfort in the right circumstances can be hot. They both come, loudly, often, and, it seems, sincerely.

The other scene is a bit more intimate, set in a residential bathroom, largely in the shower. Adorable Blaire soaps up under the spray until tall Annalisa climbs in, still wearing clothes (a fetching white top that quickly becomes transparent, always a plus in these situations). Before long they’re both naked, and spend some time getting one another nice and clean — when water’s not enough, of course, it’s necessary to really get in there with your tongue . . . seeing sexy women, naked, dripping water, making out and groping one another passionately is one of the true pleasures of porn, and this is an exemplar of the form. The performances are believable, natural, and passionate, everything I’ve come to expect from the folks at AbbyWinters.com. It’ll make you look at the bathroom in a whole new light . . .

• Girls Lusting Girls

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[Videos] Fallen

In Fallen, headliner Jessica Drake — who’s older than most of her starlet castmates, but is still a lovely and formidable screen presence — plays a guardian angel. Her lovely charge, Jenna Haze, has an unfortunate accident, and Jessica’s failure to protect her gets the angel booted out of heaven, though she still retains certain angelic qualities. She’s miserable, angsty, and embraces the dark side, diving deep into the world of fleshly depravity to distract herself from her sad and meaningless existence. And yet, somehow, meaningless gratuitous sex is so fun to watch!

I like a good fallen angel flick, so a fallen angel porno seemed like a real treat, especially when it’s a production as lavish as this one. The deluxe edition has an oversized DVD case (bigger than a hardback book!) and multiple discs of bonus features. I was impressed. This is an awesome sexual epic, nearly three hours long, with a twenty-minute orgy scene, tons of group sex, anal, some gaping, double penetration with cocks, fingers, toys and etc., come-swapping, toy play, and fetishy costumes. The less epic scenes are still quite satisfactory, especially Jennifer Dark’s three-way with two guys, with Dark looking gothically adorable in a black bustier. There’s even a plot, too, though it doesn’t pay to examine the internal logic too closely. There’s some nice chemistry in Jessica’s scenes with her real-life husband (and director) Brad Armstrong, too.

I was a bit disappointed that, even though Alektra Blue’s name is mentioned prominently on the back cover copy, she doesn’t actually have sex in the feature film proper, but is relegated to an appearance with a lot of other (admittedly lovely) ladies in a deleted scene. That said, I should definitely mention the bonus features, which fill two discs and include some really sweet stuff, including an extended version of the orgy scene that lasts over 40 minutes. There are multiple endings, too, so you can help decide how the story turns out. Fallen is epic, occasionally a bit silly, and ultimately a lot of hot hardcore fun.

• Fallen

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[Videos] Car Wash

Is it silly that I decided to review Car Wash — from a selection of literally thirty screeners in my pile — solely because of the presence of Katie Morgan, who I just saw a few days ago in mainstream romantic comedy Zack and Miri Make a Porno? I always liked Katie’s work anyway, but the discovery that she’s capable of genuine comic timing (and that she’s willing to make fun of the business she’s in) made me even fonder. She does great work in this movie, too, and even gets to deliver some good lines.

The lovely blonde ladies — Stefani Morgan, Lanny Barby, Katie Gold, Katie Morgan, and Shay Sweet — are cheerleaders with dreams of making the national competition. Alas, only the top five teams in the country are invited to compete, and their team came in at number six. The obvious solution is to use some shady family connections to rub out one of the other teams, opening up a slot in finals (but they’ll call the mobster after they take a shower together, of course.)

Mob guy agrees to take out their competition, but it’ll cost five grand and some sexual favors, including getting head from Katie poolside while the others make out for his amusement. Other sex scenes emerge, as it were, organically from the setting — one girl walks in on a squadmate’s brother masturbating and decides to help him out, even asking him to fuck her in the ass. In order to get the money, they resort to various fundraising methods, from an erotic photo shoot to a bikini car wash — which involves pissing on a windshield, something I didn’t expect from such a frothy film. Pissing’s really gone mainstream, it seems, showing up in more and more otherwise non-fetish movies. Then again, bodily fluids in general getting sprayed around fits the crude teen sex comedy template, which is so accurate here that Carwash even includes a jizz-as-hair-gel joke. (And a naked feather pillowfight scene. And a team shower scene, as aforementioned.) Finally there’s a poker game where the stakes involve cocksucking and cunt-licking, but the team makes just enough money to put themselves over the top.

And, yay! They successfully have another team murdered so they can compete at nationals! I only regret that we don’t get to see a bunch of scantily-clad cheerleading squads performing obscene routines, but that’s what the imagination is for. This was a surprisingly fun and funny movie, with some good one-liners, and it really could be a summer teen sex romp where the sex is way more explicit than usual.

• Car Wash

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[Videos] Unfaithful 2

I’m a longstanding fan of Viv Thomas’s lesbian films, which usually feature real lesbians (or very convincing facsimiles!) slowly exploring the bodies of their partners, with an emphasis on frequent, passionate kisses — seeing girls kiss each other like they mean it is disappointingly rare, since the standard in mainstream porn is gay-for-pay ladies flicking their tongues at each other with one eye each looking at the camera. Not so in Viv Thomas’s girl-girl films; these women only have eyes for one another.

Unfaithful 2 is no exception. Yes, it’s a sequel, though actually it’s a prequel, so there’s no prior knowledge necessary to enjoy the plot. It’s a fairly simple tale of infidelities and reconciliations, centering around headliner Lisa, a tall brunette with a sly expression and an air of profound sexual confidence and experience. We first see her with her girlfriend Mya Diamond, a coke-sniffing goodtime girl, and they certainly do appear to have a good time together — the opening sex scene is long, slow, tender, and ultimately involves a girl in thigh-high stockings having her asshole passionately licked, always a good thing.

But, as the title suggests, Lisa is fundamentally unfaithful, a woman who can’t resist a challenge (especially if the challenge looks good in a skirt and heels), and she’s drawn irrevocably toward the innocent Nelly, a virginal waitress who just needs a little encouragement to find her sensual side. The seduction is beautifully depicted, and Lisa and Nelly had fantastic chemistry.

But, of course, Lisa cheats on her, too, and Nelly tries to get a little of her own back with a friend, the adorable Ariel, and before long they’re stripping one another and rolling around on and around the couch; they don’t quite have the sparkling dynamic that Nelly and Lisa do, but they’re both beautiful, and naked, and kiss each other deeply and frequently, so I’m not complaining.

In the final scene Nelly and Lisa reunite, and after a fantastic slow build they give themselves over to wild abandon. Love is never simple, but it’s lovely to watch these women work things out.

• Unfaithful 2

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[Videos] Morphine

Most Vivid Alt pictures like to stick to grungy urban subcultures and punk/indie soundtracks, most often set in Los Angeles, so I quite admire Kimberly Kane’s picture Morphine

for branching out: it’s set in Nashville, the country music capital of the USA. While it’s got all the tattoos, piercings, chrome dildos, and fetishy fun we’ve come to expect from Vivid Alt flicks, it’s also got a nice blues and country soundtrack and some settings other than filthy apartments or the stages of dirty music clubs.

Audrey Hollander is in the lead role, and things start strong with her hitching a ride from Faith Leon and choosing to pay with ass instead of gas money. They fuck all over the convertible’s fur-covered seats, using a metal dildo (conveniently stashed in the glove compartment for just such eventualities) and, later, some oral and vaginal intrusion with the barrel of a six-shooter. (Director Kane assures us in the commentary that it was a prop gun, though she says she has actually fucked a girl with a real gun in her personal life.) There’s a nice scene with Ashley Blue having rough sex with Jerry, including some extended choking cocksucking and pounding anal, and a decent scene with Jada Fire and Zak Atak that doesn’t really last long enough, and some typical weird alt-porn strangeness with small appliances shoved in refrigerators and random dancing and such.

Director Kimberly Kane saves the best scene for herself, though, taking on three guys in a rough scene that involves extended messy cocksucking and a noose around her neck. It was also nice to see April Flores in a substantial girl-girl scene, because while alt-porn occasionally violates the body-type norms of most porn, it tends to err on the side of skinnier women, featuring starlets so petite they can look strung-out; April Flores, by contrast, is a yummily plump big beautiful woman who lights up her scene with passion and playfulness.

Sex, drugs, and country music — what could be better? Give Morphine a try. You’ll get hooked.

• Morphine

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[News] Pink and White Wins Best of Bay!

We’d like to congratulate Pink and White Productions for winning the SF Weekly’s Best of the Bay for Best Dyke Porn Studio! Of course, we’re proud to be the exclusive distributor of Pink and White’s DVDs.

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[Videos] Backdoor to Brazil

The combination of beautiful scenery, beautiful women, and delightfully depraved sex acts is always pleasant, and Backdoor to Brazil is one of the more successful combinations of scenery and sexy I’ve seen. Director Jonathan Morgan is known as the comedy guy at Wicked Pictures, and his sense of humor seldom tickles my humerus, but this film is tellingly described as “A Jonathan Morgan Adventure” rather than “A Jonathan Morgan Comedy,” and the emphasis is on beautiful scenery and hard fucking rather than on lowbrow comedy shenanigans, so my brief bout of worry was quelled.

As the title suggests, this is an anal feature. Now, you might think the combination of fine Brazilian beach sand plus anal sex would lead to uncomfortable friction — but you’d be wrong! (One does imagine the sand sticks to the lube, though.) Everyone seems to have a great time, and though the setting is pretty, the emphasis is on the natural wonders of the bodies on display, as it should be.

The women get ass-fucked on outdoor furniture, ass-fucked in the surf, ass-fucked on a pontoon boat, ass-fucked on a blanket held down with a handy piece of driftwood — and there are other sex acts too, of course, usually a warm-up blowjob and some friendly vaginal fucking before the butt stuff begins, but the anal is definitely the main event.

If you find tan lines sexy — and, they can be, especially here, where they reveal the incredibly skimpy proportions of the tiny bikinis the performers must usually wear — you’ll find a lot to like. Most of the performers are dark-haired and darkly tanned, though there’s a blonde thrown in there, too, and overall the variety of beautiful bodies is just fine.

(An aside; since these women are presumably Brazilian, I took note of their pubic hair out of curiosity regarding whether they preferred the Brazilian wax; most are rocking the small landing-strip or Hitler-mustache patch of pubic hair at the top, and are otherwise as smooth as the waters in a secluded lagoon.)

What’s not to like? Gorgeous Brazilian women who love anal sex, being obliged by well-hung buff men, against a tropical backdrop. Break out the sunscreen and drinks with little umbrellas in them and count me in!

• Backdoor to Brazil

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[Videos] Crash Pad Series, Volume 4

Behold the fourth mind-blowing and libido-stoking installment in the ongoing all-girl extravaganza that is The Crash Pad Series. The kinkiness quotient goes way up this time, and the cast is just as diverse as ever, from slim-hipped boyish types to tough butches to sexy femmes and beyond.

The first couple on screen, Brooklyn Flaco and Carson, waste no time in conversation, but simply pull one another into bed and strip to their tattooed skin, pushing and pulling against one another with questing fingers and wet orifices. It’s a nice start, hot and natural, but not unusual.

The next couple, Jiz Lee and Dallas, come prepared with a bag full of toys (and what’s hotter than a clinking collection of straps and D-rings and dildos?), and literally tear one another’s clothes off, complete with shredding denim. They push, shove, wrestle, and then the ropes come out, binding wrists to headboard. Ass smacking, Feeldoe sucking, and more rough stuff follows, and from there, it’s clear this is something special.

Bossy bitch top Sadie Lune has her way with her petulant bratty sub Tricksie Treat (who has a nice jack o’lantern tattoo), slicing off her clothes with a blade and teasing her with the knife’s edge. Some binding, some vibrating with a Hitachi magic wand, some aggressive dirty talk, some fingering, and riding a strap-on cock complete the scene.

Burly butch Cash is up next in business attire complete with necktie, taking on slim-hipped hipster Stella — and sucking her strapped-on dick. Later they switch equipment for doggy-style fucking, and it’s genderfuck at its best.

The final scene features another coldhearted top, Ex — despite a deceptively mellow-hippie appearance — smacking sub Muscle Beach around remorselessly. There’s boot-licking, hard slapping, some exceptionally nice rope harness work, and intense bondage strap-on cock sucking.

Through it all, director Shine Louise Houston maintains her role as the shadowy spy in the house of love, monitoring the hidden cameras that record all the action taking place in the Crash Pad, adding a little twist of voyeuristic thrill to the proceedings.

The feature ends with some interviews, which is pleasant — it’s always nice to get to know the people involved a little better, and see how much fun they had. This is another unmissable installment of the finest feminist lesbian porn series around.

• Crash Pad Series, Volume 4

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